20050311

Mr. Smee: Cell phones and ZZZzzzzzzz.....

Hallo sonny!

Back in my day, we didn't have blogs. We had munchkins. Not the short little midgets with squeaky voices but the tiny donuts. However, in those days munchkins were a malevolent force that sought to take over the world. Their plans were foiled as soon as it was discovered they were edible. We lost Jim that day. Poor Jim. The fool was both the first to discover the tasty properties of the munchkins, and the first to die from overly high blood sugar content.

Todays munchkins, much like our umbrellas, are docile after millenia of selective breeding. Except, we really didn't have breeding back then. It was more like, building a sundeck. Not sundecks as you know them, but ones that towered to the stars. Breathing hadn't been invented yet, and heights were but the mad ravings of Jim's wiser, if nutty, cousin Greg. Not nutty as you might think of it, that hadn't been conceived of. We called people like Greg "hooplah". Greg was the greatest of hooplahs. Oddly, his voice was more reminiscent of bad cell phone connection.

Bah, you young'ins and your cell phones. In my day, we didn't have the "internet" and "wireless communication". In fact, we didn't have communication. Ungrateful generation. Never listens to the wisdom of their elders. People don't realise that communication is like fat. There are saturated and unsaturated types. Everyone needs some, but some kinds are better than others, and too much of any is hazardous. Of course, it wasn't always that way. When communication was first invented, it was more like a hat. If you forgot to put it on in the morning (that was invented some time before communication, although then it was called "tanning") whole days didn't make sense.

Enough of your yammering about how none of this makes sense. I was there, and that's how it was. Pish, I'll tell you what doesn't make sense. Why is it that people make a point of having a cell phone, making sure that everyone has their number, and making a big deal out of it, only to leave it off or not even take it anywhere. Hmm? Or how about how instead of using land lines, teenagers will simply sit on their beds using cell phones when there's a perfectly good Graham Bell nearby? Oh Graham, the world hardly knew ye then, and it hardly knows ye now. I tell you if he had a grave he'd be spinning in it fast enough to turn a turbine that could power the world, which he does.

Go on you whipper snappers. Geit, geit. I won't listen to any more of your yammering. I've had better discussions with my closed eyelids. You probably don't even care we didn't always have 'em. Ungrateful rasfragshin mmrgsh. ::mumble::

ZZzzzzzz....

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