Today's Fortune: Future

Today's fortune cookie reads: "You do not have to worry about your future."

Is that a threat?


Today's Fortune: Leadership

Today's fortune cookie reads: "Your leadership talents will bring you an incredible opportunity."

This sounds like the opening pitch to one of those Nigerian prince emails. Speaking of which...


Today's Fortune: Moved

Today's fortune cookie reads: "Others are deeply moved by your presence."

I give this one the award for least amount of effort, not because no effort went into crafting this fortune but because I can apparently, without effort, touch the very souls of others simply by standing around in their general vicinity.


What is this I don't even


This is possibly the most bizarre the internet has ever been.