You must PLAY THIS GAME! You must also get it for me for my birthday.

It is that good.


Lost and Found

Some of you may be aware that sometime between Thursday and Friday my keys fell into the cracks between moments and have not shown themselves since. Some of the people falling into the previous group may be aware I was searching for my keys. A few of you may have known that I tore the room apart multiple times and with a level of methodical masochism that is only matched by the time I spent five hours killing the exact same enemies in Ninja Gaiden over and over again for money. Two of you know that just now Patrick pulled them out of thin air.

Apparently they were in the chair that I had looked in, on, below, behind, and upside down twice.

Not only did Patrick pull them out of thin out while sitting on said chair, but he did so while paying absolutely no attention to what he was doing because he was watching a TV show.

So, I am happy I have my keys back, and laughing at the terrible, terrible irony.


Caution: Calculator

CAUTION: Calculating tools can be unsafe and are not to be utilized by untrained persons. Adhere to the preceding warnings or face serious hazards.

If you see anyone using an calculator in any of the unintended but common scenarios depicted prior, shinobi especially, avoid the event area as much as possible.



During Christmas, I had the pleasent opportunity to share my zany japanese DS games with my family. Specifically, my sister and brother-in-law in particular. The specificity of the specifically was showing them Electroplankton.

I thought that they would enjoy it, in fact I was 102.3% positive they would. However, I entirely failed to calculate they would be addicted to it. With frightening speed I found my siblings all flocking to me whenever they could to ask for permission to use it. It was surprising, incredible, and utterly enlightening as to how strong a grip Nintendo has the potential to display over the ever-elusive casual and non-gamers.

Now, I honestly don't think Electroplankton was perfect. It was self-evident to me that many people would fail to understand what the point was. Electroplankton has no specific goals, no carryover from session to session, and no score. The point was a three year old banging keys on a piano, or humming into a kazoo.

There were, unfortunately, a lot of reviews that missed all that. A lot of reviews knocked the game for not being a game, which it never was really. Others slammed it for not being a good music sequencing tool, which it never was meant to be either.

Like I said, the thing isn't a perfect work of art, but it is an incredible work of art. It's the ultimate in electronic key banging, kazoo humming, guitar plucking excelence, and it can only be compared to the simple, child-like creative exploits.

Thankfully, a few places recognized that much. Kudos to 1up.com.


The Long Haul

Of corridors and narrow passes,
thinning paths and streams,
within my mind their ruler flashes,
dancing in my dreams.

That which reigns over them all.
That the one king, the Long Haul.

An uphill trek and endless climbing,
skyward ways and goals,
without hope it whispers, lying,
tired palms and souls.

Hear the call and dark refrain,
The Long Haul, acursed name.