Today's Fortune: Direct

Today's fortune cookie reads: "The most direct approach isn't always the best."

And here I thought driving directly through other cars and red lights would get me home faster.

This one is actually close to real wisdom, which surprised me. It's fairly trite without context, but it's something you'd reasonably expect a parent to impart on their children in appropriate circumstances.


Today's Fortune: Trivial

Today's fortune cookie reads: "Do not burden yourself with trivial matters."

This one confuses me. Normally when you hear a line like this you have one character freaking out about the details of various things and then their sensei or good friend says this and tries to calm them down. It usually ends with at least a glum, reluctant acceptance from the control freak or a complete breakdown.

So what, exactly, is the fortune cookie company expecting to happen while eating their food that warrants an intervention of this type?


On Paper

Nintendo: We're releasing our new 3DS this year!
Me: Ho hum.
Nintendo: It's got 3D! Real 3D!
Me: Yeah yeah, and I have a back-catalog of games to beat on my current DS. Call me when the 3DS actually merits me spending money.
Nintendo: Paper Mario.
Me: ... what?
Nintendo: You heard me.
Me: I don't care about some remake.
Nintendo: This is no remake, it's a sequel.
Me: Super Paper Mario sucked, why should I care about a sequel?
Nintendo: Oh we know it sucked, so we went back to basics. This is just like the first two games.
Me: You didn't.
Nintendo: Oh we did.
Me: ...
Nintendo: :)
Me: ...
Nintendo: :D
Me: ...
Nintendo: XD
Me: You know what you've done.
Nintendo: Yup, we know.
Me: Someday, someday when you're lounging on the heaps of cash that you siphon out of my lifeblood you'll feel a twinge of guilt.
Nintendo: You're welcome.


Today's Fortune: Travel

Today's fortune cookie reads: "You are going to travel somewhere far away."

Note the complete lack of qualifiers dictating when this will happen, and the vagueness of "far away" as a term of distance.


Today's Fortune: Love

Today's fortune cookie reads: "Someone loves you very much."

That's about as safe as fortune cookies get. I mean, everyone has a mom.