20051025

Proof

A logical proof that killing monkeys solves problems. Not entirely perfect, but pretty convincing.

Assumptions:
People have Problems.
If People have Problems, Then People complain about Problems.
If there is/are Problem(s), Then there is a Cause.
If there is a Cause, then it is a Person, Group or Entity.
The Cause of Problem(s) does not complain about the Problem(s) it causes.
Monkeys do not complain about Problems.
If and Only If there is no Cause, Then there are no Problems.
If a Monkey is set on Fire, Then the Monkey dies.
If all Monkeys die, Then there are no Monkeys.

Logic:
People have Problems.
If People have Problems, Then People complain about Problems.
Therefore, People complain about Problems.

People have Problems.
If there is/are Problem(s), Then there is a Cause.
If there is a Cause, then it is a Person, Group or Entity.
Therefore, a Person, Group or Entity is a Cause of Problem(s)

The Cause of Problem(s) does not complain about the Problem(s) it causes.
Monkeys do not complain about Problems.
Therefore, Monkeys are a Cause of Problems.

If there is/are Problems(s), Then there is a Cause.
Therefore, If and Only If there is no Cause, Then there are no Problems.

Monkeys are a Cause of Problems.
If and Only If there is no Cause, Then there are no Problems.
Therefore, If and Only If there are no Monkeys, Then there are no Problems.

If and Only If there are no Monkeys, Then there are no Problems.
If a Monkey is set on Fire, Then the Monkey dies.
If all Monkeys die, Then there are no Monkeys.
Therefore, If and Only If all Monkeys are set on Fire, Then there are no problems.

Conclusion:
Setting Monkeys on Fire will allow for the end of Problems.

Tadah.

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