Adventures in Fast Forwarding

Legend of Lemnear, save your sanity and don't watch it. Don't believe me? Believe him or him.

Or believe me.

A comprehensive list of things Lemnear fails to be.

-Entertaining
-Intelligent
-Porn (Though it tried)
-Worth watching

The story unfolds with the obligatory burning village, the obligatory dying townspeople, the obligatory "I'm the only person in the whole village who stands a chance against the evil but gets caught or killed anyway" would be hero, the obligatory sorceror etc. Everything in this was so standard it might as well have been titled, "An animated summary of common elements in 80s anime".

To put it simply, I watched this via occaisional glances over my shoulder while a couple of my friends watched it at 4x speed. I didn't miss anything. I quite honestly knew as much as they did concerning plot, character development, and events, probably because there were none that were noteworthy.

Actually, I lie. There was one noteworthy event. The main heroine dies. She's the legendary warrior who has to save everyone, and she dies. This was the most beautiful moment in the entire "epic". The world was righted, and all the people in it beautiful; until she arbitrarily revived, and with her brought back to life her brother/lover/person/thing.

Yeah...