Because my greedy and Scrooge-like sister went ahead and did it, I will feel no remorse in schilling for gifts as well.
And yes, I'm so miserly I'm stealing her formatting as well.
As a final note, these are also valid birthday presents.
The Well Dressed Nerd
1. Outrageously Funny - Choko Untld (Wark!)
2. Odd as All Else - Emergency Exit (It's funny, really. Okay, so maybe you need to have been in Japan...)
3. You Know it's True - Life (Twilight Princess rocks your socks)
4. Self-Defense - Shirt of Smiting (You never know when you need to mete out a good smiting)
5. Free Will - RPG (Choose wisely)
If Music is the Food of Love, Maybe this Will Get me a Date
1. A-Muse-zing - Absolution (Oh the pun hurts I know)
2. Nippon, ChaChaCha - Yoshida Brothers (Because their piece from the Wii commercial was so awesome, so get me all three)
3. Weird and All - Straight Outta Lynwood (Because I'm so White and Nerdy)
4. Shinigamiwa Atashiwo Korosu - Bleach (Because the anime kicks butt)
Since when was Pink a Natural Hair Color?
1. IM IN UR MEYTRIKZ, KRASHIN UR CODE - Stand Alone Complex (Because's it's as awesome as the movies)
2. From the, "I never saw THAT coming!" department - Berserk (And you thought Cloud had a big sword)
3. Be Afraid - Paranoia Agent (Same guy who did Perfect Blue = Want)
And so there you have it. I will break the pattern and not list 2 items and then 1 more item, because the 2 items would be things I'd want for myself, and only God can get me a significant other.
This lesson in greed has ended.
20061219
Haberdashery
I highly recommend going to www.churchsigngenerator.com. It is very diverting, with five different styles to choose from. Each and every sign looks completely authentic, whether you enscribe your favorite Monty Python moments or Burt Ward's best Robin quote.
I, of course, chose to practice my sardonic wit. I played around with a myriad of possibilities, but this one struck me as the most appropriate. I thought about changing "you" to "Jim" or even removing the blank area so I could reference one of my multiple personalities who has long been absent from this blog (Franklin), but ultimately the original had already sunk it's viral mandibles into my cerebrum.
20061213
Astroturf
You may or may not be aware of Sony's recent attempt to generate a grassroots campaign for their PSP. The whole thing was ridiculously obvious because the marketing company that was hired was incapable of using 13375p34k properly. That's right, what they generated was a hideous abomination of a hideous abomination.
Below is an analysis of on of the "blog" posts from the offending website. It should become very obvious that A) using ur and luv does not a 1337 g3m4r make and B) I know way too much about 13375p34k, gamers and the internet.
Begin analysis.
You don't need to have spent years on the internet to know that when someone makes common mistakes/shortcuts like luv and ur, they don't do it halfway. You'll never see the following sentence on the internet by someone doing it unintentionally.
This sentence of my creation highlights something everyone who's ever used IRC, read Barrens chat, or hacked the e-mail of a 14 year old knows. People who use ur and luv and similar shortcuts and mispellings will not be using proper punctuation, spelling and grammar. It doesn't happen.
Yet, here is what we have from the website. I will be pointlessly dissecting it.
People do not use colons on the internet. That key is the jaded and lost son of the realm of QWERTY. People also make assumptions, assumptions such as their identity being well known. They won't be specifying that they are "charlie", you should already know that. If you don't, you're a noob. Jeremy fails to be derided for not having a PSP. Lastly, no one speaking like this would specify "this year", or type "one" out. Number keys are there 4 a reason.
No one on the internet can spell subtle, let alone know where to use hyphens. A common thing to notice is the use of larger words here were smaller ones would have sufficed. "started" could be "were" or "did". "created" is two syllabels longer than "made". The last sentence would more improperly be "we maed this site 2 giv luv 4 u who want a psp liek j!"
Again with the long words. Very few words over 2 syllabels are in the common lexicon on the internet. "consider", "personal", "holiday", "whoever", all unknown to the internet mind. Again with the hyphens as well. There are no "girl"s on the internet, only "gf"s, and when was the last time we saw "granny"? What kid this supposed age would have a "boss"?
Anyone who uses ur is not going to type out "you". "you" is four characters too many as it is. Also, the kind of comraderie shown in this last sentiment is completely foreign. This is the internet, not a high tea. There are no favors, there are only noobs and 1337 h4x.
Ironically, this horribly conceived effort at joining the netizens was least among the symptoms of the greater evil. Very quickly enterprising people spent all of five minutes finding the administrative contacts of the website, linking them to a marketing company, and matching up employee pictures to the people on the website. Almost as soon as the website was up the jig was up.
I wasn't originally going to blab about any of this, were it not for Sony's "apology" or "confession" contained below.
I would like to take the opportunity to rail against this.
Firstly, many is a small reckoning. 99% of people aware of the website found out, instantly. The other 1% saw that everyone else had figured it out already and moved on to other things.
Secondly, stop. You weren't cool before, you aren't cool now. Your speech wasn't too funky fresh, in fact I can't think of anyone describing "ur", "luv" and similar shortcuts as such. No, your speech as a baldfaced attempt at pretending to be something you weren't and you failed miserably. Lets look at that again, you failed miserably to mispell words. That just boggles the mind.
Thirdly, it was deathly obvious from that incredible mind-destroying "rap" video that Peter was not, in fact a hip-hop maven. If you survived the video anyway.
Fourthly, a mere cursory look at the webpage immediately screams "marketing". Even Xbox 360 fansites don't plaster system related imagery everywhere like that.
Fifthly, it's not that you were trying to be a little too clever, it's that you A) went out of your way to lie to us and B) failed utterly and completely to fool anyone but yourselves.
Sixthly, your initial product (the webpage) wasn't cool. Making a cool product is a prerequisite to continue making cool products. I can't say I'll continue running away from you screaming at the horror of your creations unless I had already begun my speedy trek in a direction orthogonal to you.
Lastly, it's too late. Who with any sense whatsoever is going to believe anything you say from this point onward? We're supposed to get "just the facts" from a website whose initial point and purpose was an intentional and intricate deception? Snowball's chance on an overclocked CPU.
As an addendum, the worst part of the apology is that they still tried to act cool. When I apologize to someone for a trangression, I do not act as I normally do. My wit, jokes, sarcasm, jolly nature and other attributes are pushed aside because apologies and confessions are serious business. This is especially true when trying to reestablish someone's trust after something as destructive as a lie. Yet Sony, signing as Sony Computer Entertainment America no less, did not cut the crap and continued in part their charade even as they confessed.
I'm of the opinion that whoever is in charge of Sony's PR and marketing needs to be fired, around eight months ago. There hasn't been a single piece of good news generated by Sony's own PR machine starting May 2006 during and after E3. Things that could have been excellent news were lukewarm, and things that might have been only minor issues spiralled uncontrolled into whirlwinds of bad press. This is just another lead pipe on a thoroughly crushed camel.
Sony need to get their PR act together, because ultimately it's going to hurt them severely if they don't. It shouldn't be this hard to market the incumbent.
Below is an analysis of on of the "blog" posts from the offending website. It should become very obvious that A) using ur and luv does not a 1337 g3m4r make and B) I know way too much about 13375p34k, gamers and the internet.
Begin analysis.
You don't need to have spent years on the internet to know that when someone makes common mistakes/shortcuts like luv and ur, they don't do it halfway. You'll never see the following sentence on the internet by someone doing it unintentionally.
Hello everyone, I was just thinking that ur all going to luv my latest blog entry.
This sentence of my creation highlights something everyone who's ever used IRC, read Barrens chat, or hacked the e-mail of a 14 year old knows. People who use ur and luv and similar shortcuts and mispellings will not be using proper punctuation, spelling and grammar. It doesn't happen.
Yet, here is what we have from the website. I will be pointlessly dissecting it.
here's the deal::: i (charlie) have a psp. my friend jeremy does not. but he wants one this year for xmas.
People do not use colons on the internet. That key is the jaded and lost son of the realm of QWERTY. People also make assumptions, assumptions such as their identity being well known. They won't be specifying that they are "charlie", you should already know that. If you don't, you're a noob. Jeremy fails to be derided for not having a PSP. Lastly, no one speaking like this would specify "this year", or type "one" out. Number keys are there 4 a reason.
so we started clowning with sum not-so-subtle hints to j's parents that a psp would be teh perfect gift. we created this site to spread the luv to those like j who want a psp!
No one on the internet can spell subtle, let alone know where to use hyphens. A common thing to notice is the use of larger words here were smaller ones would have sufficed. "started" could be "were" or "did". "created" is two syllabels longer than "made". The last sentence would more improperly be "we maed this site 2 giv luv 4 u who want a psp liek j!"
consider us your own personal psp hype machine, here to help you wage a holiday assault on ur parents, girl, granny, boss -- whoever -- so they know what you really want.
Again with the long words. Very few words over 2 syllabels are in the common lexicon on the internet. "consider", "personal", "holiday", "whoever", all unknown to the internet mind. Again with the hyphens as well. There are no "girl"s on the internet, only "gf"s, and when was the last time we saw "granny"? What kid this supposed age would have a "boss"?
we'll let you know how it works for us. pls return the favor.
more to come,
c&j.
Anyone who uses ur is not going to type out "you". "you" is four characters too many as it is. Also, the kind of comraderie shown in this last sentiment is completely foreign. This is the internet, not a high tea. There are no favors, there are only noobs and 1337 h4x.
Ironically, this horribly conceived effort at joining the netizens was least among the symptoms of the greater evil. Very quickly enterprising people spent all of five minutes finding the administrative contacts of the website, linking them to a marketing company, and matching up employee pictures to the people on the website. Almost as soon as the website was up the jig was up.
I wasn't originally going to blab about any of this, were it not for Sony's "apology" or "confession" contained below.
Busted. Nailed. Snagged. As many of you have figured out (maybe our speech was a little too funky fresh???), Peter isn't a real hip-hop maven and this site was actually developed by Sony. Guess we were trying to be just a little too clever. From this point forward, we will just stick to making cool products, and use this site to give you nothing but the facts on the PSP.
Sony Computer Entertainment America
I would like to take the opportunity to rail against this.
Firstly, many is a small reckoning. 99% of people aware of the website found out, instantly. The other 1% saw that everyone else had figured it out already and moved on to other things.
Secondly, stop. You weren't cool before, you aren't cool now. Your speech wasn't too funky fresh, in fact I can't think of anyone describing "ur", "luv" and similar shortcuts as such. No, your speech as a baldfaced attempt at pretending to be something you weren't and you failed miserably. Lets look at that again, you failed miserably to mispell words. That just boggles the mind.
Thirdly, it was deathly obvious from that incredible mind-destroying "rap" video that Peter was not, in fact a hip-hop maven. If you survived the video anyway.
Fourthly, a mere cursory look at the webpage immediately screams "marketing". Even Xbox 360 fansites don't plaster system related imagery everywhere like that.
Fifthly, it's not that you were trying to be a little too clever, it's that you A) went out of your way to lie to us and B) failed utterly and completely to fool anyone but yourselves.
Sixthly, your initial product (the webpage) wasn't cool. Making a cool product is a prerequisite to continue making cool products. I can't say I'll continue running away from you screaming at the horror of your creations unless I had already begun my speedy trek in a direction orthogonal to you.
Lastly, it's too late. Who with any sense whatsoever is going to believe anything you say from this point onward? We're supposed to get "just the facts" from a website whose initial point and purpose was an intentional and intricate deception? Snowball's chance on an overclocked CPU.
As an addendum, the worst part of the apology is that they still tried to act cool. When I apologize to someone for a trangression, I do not act as I normally do. My wit, jokes, sarcasm, jolly nature and other attributes are pushed aside because apologies and confessions are serious business. This is especially true when trying to reestablish someone's trust after something as destructive as a lie. Yet Sony, signing as Sony Computer Entertainment America no less, did not cut the crap and continued in part their charade even as they confessed.
I'm of the opinion that whoever is in charge of Sony's PR and marketing needs to be fired, around eight months ago. There hasn't been a single piece of good news generated by Sony's own PR machine starting May 2006 during and after E3. Things that could have been excellent news were lukewarm, and things that might have been only minor issues spiralled uncontrolled into whirlwinds of bad press. This is just another lead pipe on a thoroughly crushed camel.
Sony need to get their PR act together, because ultimately it's going to hurt them severely if they don't. It shouldn't be this hard to market the incumbent.
20061211
Terse
Firstly, that's something I'm not. However, it's also something the internet is not as well. This is a problem.
I have noted unconciously, until recently, a slow change in the internet. As the years have gone by websites have increased in complexity. Complexity is not in an of itself a problem. It is nice to have a complex setup, such as this blog, which enables users to do things simply. Complexity of that kind is good. It is complexity of a different kind that isn't. Namely, the web page itself.
Years ago web pages were extremely simplistic. There was very rarely anything beyond grey backgrounds, a few paragraphs of text, a hyperlink to the info-mac archinves, and one small 3k image of the person running the webpage. This was ideal for the time as anyone with a 14.4k modem was living in the lap of luxury. Slowly the capabilities of the internet were expanded, and with them webpages grew and blossomed.
Complexity of the function of web pages exploded. Whereas previously very few web pages were anything other than personal web pages or directories of files for download, now we had review sites, shareware developer home pages, news sites and more. It was still primitive, but that didn't last long either. After seperate, dedicated phone lines were no longer required to surf the sea of information, the internet created a huge demand for excellent web designers and pushed forward into the dot com boom/bust.
However, somewhere in that explosion all the good web designers vanished.
Don't believe me? First take a look at Google. In my mind, it is the epitomy of everything a web page should be. It is simple to use and navigate, while at the same time hosting a very deep and vast set of functions. When the web page loads there isn't any confusion as to what's going on. There are no distractions. There is only Google, a few options, a friendly search box and the "Search" and "Lucky" buttons. There are no ads, no special offers, nothing to clutter the page. It is, in short, a very orthogonally designed website.
Now take a look at Amazon. I'm not going to argue that Amazon isn't extremely functional, because it is. The features it attempts to grant the user do their jobs and do them well. Amazon is not the most famous online store for no reason. However, the website can not be said to be simple.
Before I cut deep into Amazon's web design, I will say that they are hardly the worst website out there. In fact, they are quite probably above average. This does not change my opinion that their website still leaves much to be desired.
When you load the Amazon web page you are immediately assaulted with options and advertisements. In the center of the screen are suggestions of things for you to buy. On either side of the search bar are a penguin and a golden chest screaming to you for a click that you might see what special deals they offer. There are tabs which are not immediately intuitive as to their function. Long lists of categories stream down the left side. Were you to try and assimilate everything on the very first page, it might take you fifteen minutes.
For someone first visiting the site, this can be extremely daunting. Lets say they wanted to find a toy. If they were intent on browsing for one, they're probably going to look confused at the screen for a moment as they try and figure out what is going on. Looking near a common center of attention, the search bar, they find links to deals, new releases, top sellers.... of what? What are these things? This person wants a toy, and if they click on these things thinking they might find one they will only find more confusion.
After some looking, they will probably find the "Browse" menu on the left. Unfortunately, toys are not listed immediately and must be scrolled down to be found. The whole time this is done ads and suggestions take up the other 3/4ths of the page, begging for attention. Just now I scrolled right past the toys, even though I knew exactly where it was, because of the distractions.
Similar insanity continues when you actually click on the toys link, but lets focus on the actual search.
If I search for "Transformers" the actual list of items is repeatedly usurped by sponsored links, and squished by categories, listmania and other oddities on the left. Clicking on a actual item isn't terrible, until you scroll down through the rest of the page and another array of confusing features without much organization presents itself. Thankfully the option to buy is situated in the primary area you first view, although accompanied by options to add it to any number of lists.
To be what I should have been in the first place, terse, the Amazon web page is not simple in the least, especially for someone who has never tried to navigate it before.
I'll repeat myself and say that Amazon is well above average in terms of its design. For all the complexity, it isn't a hideous abomination of web design as several of my college's web portals, a number of lesser online stores, and news sites are. The sheer amount of disorganized and useless clutter that can be found in so small a space as a web browser is staggering.
Web design, I believe, is largely a lost art. Much like Hollywood versus independant film-makers, we can not look to the large businesses to make the best stuff (with rare exceptions). There is an eloquent simplicity and depth to saucylittleone's livejournal, a straight utilitarian forcefulness to the Angry Christian Liberal, and my blog (simple as it is) contains more clutter than I care for.
I'm thinking very seriously about designing my own web page. I have a pretty solid idea for the main index, it's more the functions thereof and what I want to accomplish with it that need to be addressed. I want to avoid the "Lets throw in every last bell and whistle!" approach.
The major things that would be features of this webpage would be video game reviews (in depth, as in more than just a set of ratings and a justification for them but really nitty gritty details), this blog, a forum, and maybe a wiki to store all of the extremely technical and pointless knowledge of video game mechanics I uncover.
One of the chilling factors on this project at the moment is the effort. I'm not sure I'm prepared to spend the time managing, updating and generating content for the site. I also don't know a whole lot about finding web hosting, and the best thing I know for domain registration is whatever I can find via Google. Anyone with more extensive knowledge who might share said knowledge is kindly asked to impart said wisdom in the comments for this post.
In any case, I think I went more technical and less philosophical in this than I meant to. I'm not going to edit it though, because I'm lazy.
I have noted unconciously, until recently, a slow change in the internet. As the years have gone by websites have increased in complexity. Complexity is not in an of itself a problem. It is nice to have a complex setup, such as this blog, which enables users to do things simply. Complexity of that kind is good. It is complexity of a different kind that isn't. Namely, the web page itself.
Years ago web pages were extremely simplistic. There was very rarely anything beyond grey backgrounds, a few paragraphs of text, a hyperlink to the info-mac archinves, and one small 3k image of the person running the webpage. This was ideal for the time as anyone with a 14.4k modem was living in the lap of luxury. Slowly the capabilities of the internet were expanded, and with them webpages grew and blossomed.
Complexity of the function of web pages exploded. Whereas previously very few web pages were anything other than personal web pages or directories of files for download, now we had review sites, shareware developer home pages, news sites and more. It was still primitive, but that didn't last long either. After seperate, dedicated phone lines were no longer required to surf the sea of information, the internet created a huge demand for excellent web designers and pushed forward into the dot com boom/bust.
However, somewhere in that explosion all the good web designers vanished.
Don't believe me? First take a look at Google. In my mind, it is the epitomy of everything a web page should be. It is simple to use and navigate, while at the same time hosting a very deep and vast set of functions. When the web page loads there isn't any confusion as to what's going on. There are no distractions. There is only Google, a few options, a friendly search box and the "Search" and "Lucky" buttons. There are no ads, no special offers, nothing to clutter the page. It is, in short, a very orthogonally designed website.
Now take a look at Amazon. I'm not going to argue that Amazon isn't extremely functional, because it is. The features it attempts to grant the user do their jobs and do them well. Amazon is not the most famous online store for no reason. However, the website can not be said to be simple.
Before I cut deep into Amazon's web design, I will say that they are hardly the worst website out there. In fact, they are quite probably above average. This does not change my opinion that their website still leaves much to be desired.
When you load the Amazon web page you are immediately assaulted with options and advertisements. In the center of the screen are suggestions of things for you to buy. On either side of the search bar are a penguin and a golden chest screaming to you for a click that you might see what special deals they offer. There are tabs which are not immediately intuitive as to their function. Long lists of categories stream down the left side. Were you to try and assimilate everything on the very first page, it might take you fifteen minutes.
For someone first visiting the site, this can be extremely daunting. Lets say they wanted to find a toy. If they were intent on browsing for one, they're probably going to look confused at the screen for a moment as they try and figure out what is going on. Looking near a common center of attention, the search bar, they find links to deals, new releases, top sellers.... of what? What are these things? This person wants a toy, and if they click on these things thinking they might find one they will only find more confusion.
After some looking, they will probably find the "Browse" menu on the left. Unfortunately, toys are not listed immediately and must be scrolled down to be found. The whole time this is done ads and suggestions take up the other 3/4ths of the page, begging for attention. Just now I scrolled right past the toys, even though I knew exactly where it was, because of the distractions.
Similar insanity continues when you actually click on the toys link, but lets focus on the actual search.
If I search for "Transformers" the actual list of items is repeatedly usurped by sponsored links, and squished by categories, listmania and other oddities on the left. Clicking on a actual item isn't terrible, until you scroll down through the rest of the page and another array of confusing features without much organization presents itself. Thankfully the option to buy is situated in the primary area you first view, although accompanied by options to add it to any number of lists.
To be what I should have been in the first place, terse, the Amazon web page is not simple in the least, especially for someone who has never tried to navigate it before.
I'll repeat myself and say that Amazon is well above average in terms of its design. For all the complexity, it isn't a hideous abomination of web design as several of my college's web portals, a number of lesser online stores, and news sites are. The sheer amount of disorganized and useless clutter that can be found in so small a space as a web browser is staggering.
Web design, I believe, is largely a lost art. Much like Hollywood versus independant film-makers, we can not look to the large businesses to make the best stuff (with rare exceptions). There is an eloquent simplicity and depth to saucylittleone's livejournal, a straight utilitarian forcefulness to the Angry Christian Liberal, and my blog (simple as it is) contains more clutter than I care for.
I'm thinking very seriously about designing my own web page. I have a pretty solid idea for the main index, it's more the functions thereof and what I want to accomplish with it that need to be addressed. I want to avoid the "Lets throw in every last bell and whistle!" approach.
The major things that would be features of this webpage would be video game reviews (in depth, as in more than just a set of ratings and a justification for them but really nitty gritty details), this blog, a forum, and maybe a wiki to store all of the extremely technical and pointless knowledge of video game mechanics I uncover.
One of the chilling factors on this project at the moment is the effort. I'm not sure I'm prepared to spend the time managing, updating and generating content for the site. I also don't know a whole lot about finding web hosting, and the best thing I know for domain registration is whatever I can find via Google. Anyone with more extensive knowledge who might share said knowledge is kindly asked to impart said wisdom in the comments for this post.
In any case, I think I went more technical and less philosophical in this than I meant to. I'm not going to edit it though, because I'm lazy.
20061124
The Ballad of Broken Dreams and Forgotten Saves
Hear days of yore that came before all known of history,
and learn you well what fate befell a man of misery.
Of broken dreams I'll sing,
and save's remembering.
A lad too young had soon begun a journey wide and great,
though traveled long and growing strong he knew not his own fate.
A black and dire end,
forsaking kin and friend.
The land was doomed, a darkness loomed with curse and magic grim,
our hero bold would not be told this task was not for him.
He rode against the storm,
though verily twas warned.
Twelve beasts of hell with magic fel he battled through and through,
and each in turn his blade would burn and bring death's calling to.
For days he waged his fight,
An epic tale to write.
The world was saved, our hero bathed in glory and in power,
For weeks and years there were no fears but festivals each hour.
Rejoicing round the earth,
the lad of honor worth.
Alas, the boy too filled with joy neglected to record,
and mem'ry blank, his spirit sank, rivers of tears were poured.
He never saved his game,
only himself to blame.
So listen you and know to do one act as you have fun,
Early and soon, not late of moon, enscribe the deeds you've done.
Or suffer as our lad,
Whose destiny twas sad.
and learn you well what fate befell a man of misery.
Of broken dreams I'll sing,
and save's remembering.
A lad too young had soon begun a journey wide and great,
though traveled long and growing strong he knew not his own fate.
A black and dire end,
forsaking kin and friend.
The land was doomed, a darkness loomed with curse and magic grim,
our hero bold would not be told this task was not for him.
He rode against the storm,
though verily twas warned.
Twelve beasts of hell with magic fel he battled through and through,
and each in turn his blade would burn and bring death's calling to.
For days he waged his fight,
An epic tale to write.
The world was saved, our hero bathed in glory and in power,
For weeks and years there were no fears but festivals each hour.
Rejoicing round the earth,
the lad of honor worth.
Alas, the boy too filled with joy neglected to record,
and mem'ry blank, his spirit sank, rivers of tears were poured.
He never saved his game,
only himself to blame.
So listen you and know to do one act as you have fun,
Early and soon, not late of moon, enscribe the deeds you've done.
Or suffer as our lad,
Whose destiny twas sad.
20061119
Whee
One word: HolyzarquonsingingfishIampsychedbeyondachocolatebunnieslifeexpectancyateaster.
I had some fun with the console last night. Setting it up would have been easier if it wasn't A) 12:30 AM B) terribly exciting and C) mind debilitatingly awesome. It only took half an hour to do, despite my being completely unprepared for any of the extremely simple setup instructions.
In any case, the thing rocks hard. I've barely had an hour's experience with it and I am already extremely happy. I will go straight back to my gamer's paradise box once this post is done.
For your enjoyment I took photos of my experience. Enjoy.
20061118
For you? For Wii.
22 hours to go.
For the first time in my life I'll have a video game system at launch. The prospect of one of the most hallowed moments for someone with my hobby is rather exciting, enough that I'm going rather crazy.
I think it's with good reason.
If ever there was a console to be psyched about, at least if you're me, it's the Wii. If you've ever seen me play soccer, play raquetball, play basketball, play badminton or just about anything that involves movement you know I move excessively. I love diving, stretching, and generally looking like a complete idiot.
Many other nerds are oddly self-concious about the whole deal. For a group whose stereotypes usually involve a lack of hygiene or other sense of appearance there have been a fair number of people who are afraid of the Wii because they are afraid of appearing silly.
I like silly.
I will not skip church, my usual awesome after church meal with my grandparents or any other important events over the Wii, but I will lose sleep tommorow night as I bring Twinkies and Hostess Cupcakes to all the neat people who camped out for the system. I have a preorder, so I'm safe in the knowledge that I'll walk home tomorrow with a Wii. I just think after standing perhaps a day or more in line these people would like some sugar.
My nerdy shirts will be my primary weekend garb as I count down the hours, the minutes, and finally press my nose against the glass in jubilant anticipation.
Yes, I am fully aware I have become a walking advertisement for Nintendo. This isn't because I've seen every Wii commercial to be found on youtube. This is quite simply because I can already imagine the insanity that will occur when I show the Wii off to my relatives come Christmas. We will all look so very, very silly.
I part for sweet dreams of insanity by presenting you with what has to be one of the more interesting video game commercials in the history of the industry. I love the background music especially. All for one, and Wii for all.
For the first time in my life I'll have a video game system at launch. The prospect of one of the most hallowed moments for someone with my hobby is rather exciting, enough that I'm going rather crazy.
I think it's with good reason.
If ever there was a console to be psyched about, at least if you're me, it's the Wii. If you've ever seen me play soccer, play raquetball, play basketball, play badminton or just about anything that involves movement you know I move excessively. I love diving, stretching, and generally looking like a complete idiot.
Many other nerds are oddly self-concious about the whole deal. For a group whose stereotypes usually involve a lack of hygiene or other sense of appearance there have been a fair number of people who are afraid of the Wii because they are afraid of appearing silly.
I like silly.
I will not skip church, my usual awesome after church meal with my grandparents or any other important events over the Wii, but I will lose sleep tommorow night as I bring Twinkies and Hostess Cupcakes to all the neat people who camped out for the system. I have a preorder, so I'm safe in the knowledge that I'll walk home tomorrow with a Wii. I just think after standing perhaps a day or more in line these people would like some sugar.
My nerdy shirts will be my primary weekend garb as I count down the hours, the minutes, and finally press my nose against the glass in jubilant anticipation.
Yes, I am fully aware I have become a walking advertisement for Nintendo. This isn't because I've seen every Wii commercial to be found on youtube. This is quite simply because I can already imagine the insanity that will occur when I show the Wii off to my relatives come Christmas. We will all look so very, very silly.
I part for sweet dreams of insanity by presenting you with what has to be one of the more interesting video game commercials in the history of the industry. I love the background music especially. All for one, and Wii for all.
20061107
Presentation
I'm going to remind you all how important presentation is. If you do a good job, a crappy idea can become reality. If you do a bad job, the following happens.
This is an actual e-mail I received today concerning an FAQ I wrote. My response is included.
Him:
> You obviously don't know the characters names, now do you? First of all,
> Shaman King's name isn't "Shaman King", it's Yoh Asakura. And second of
> all, the
> "Crying Girl" you're referring to is called Aya Tojo. Then it's not
> "Kasugi",
> it's spelled "Kazuki". And also, the "Death Note Girl" is called Misa
> Amane.
> And the "Girl from the Ice Cream Series" name is Kagura. And the series
> you're
> referring to is called Gin Tama. And the Police woman's name is Reiko. And
> the
> "Guard Breaking Guy" from Rurouni Kenshin's name is Sanosuke. And it's not
> "Yugioh", it's Yugi Muto. Or Yami Yugi. Whichever comes first.
>
> Get your facts straight before posting an FAQ.
>
Me:
I appreciate your clarifications but not your attitude.
I highly recommend you do some research on constructive criticism. The difference between "You should consider putting more effort into getting the names of characters and series correct" and "Get your facts straight before posting" is monumental.
Additionally, those are hardly all of the names I was lacking. If you are going to criticize me in this manner you might want to be more complete in your ridicule. "Whichever comes first" doesn't exactly strike me as "getting your facts straight" either.
In closing, there were many ways you could have written your email that would have presented both you and your message better. As it stands, I find that I have no desire to act on any of the information you presented.
In the future, think about how your tone and grammar will affect the reception of your message.
-Darian
I can't find fault with what he said, save for perhaps "Kazugi". If I remember correctly his name was in Katakana and was most definately a "gi" and not a "ki". His grammar wasn't the best, but he did capitalize and punctuate. However, his attitude was absolutely atrocious. From the get go he let me know that his opinion of my work was complete contempt. This tone was carried by the rest of his email up to the last line, where it reached a climax of condescending character.
I wasn't entirely nice in my response either. Mine sports more of a polite, severe reprimand feel. I stand by my decision to not entirely curb my indignation in that being less forceful might have failed to get my point across. I'm skeptical any manner of response would have an affect, but I did my best regardless.
This is the only negative e-mail I've ever received concerning any work I've posted to the internet. I've received criticisms and suggestions before, but never anything that outright condemned my work. I'm surprised honestly, given the constant lamentations seen on official forums for video games I'd have expected a greater amount of ill-conceived and worded flames.
Maybe I'll get more if I actually get around to making my website.
This is an actual e-mail I received today concerning an FAQ I wrote. My response is included.
Him:
> You obviously don't know the characters names, now do you? First of all,
> Shaman King's name isn't "Shaman King", it's Yoh Asakura. And second of
> all, the
> "Crying Girl" you're referring to is called Aya Tojo. Then it's not
> "Kasugi",
> it's spelled "Kazuki". And also, the "Death Note Girl" is called Misa
> Amane.
> And the "Girl from the Ice Cream Series" name is Kagura. And the series
> you're
> referring to is called Gin Tama. And the Police woman's name is Reiko. And
> the
> "Guard Breaking Guy" from Rurouni Kenshin's name is Sanosuke. And it's not
> "Yugioh", it's Yugi Muto. Or Yami Yugi. Whichever comes first.
>
> Get your facts straight before posting an FAQ.
>
Me:
I appreciate your clarifications but not your attitude.
I highly recommend you do some research on constructive criticism. The difference between "You should consider putting more effort into getting the names of characters and series correct" and "Get your facts straight before posting" is monumental.
Additionally, those are hardly all of the names I was lacking. If you are going to criticize me in this manner you might want to be more complete in your ridicule. "Whichever comes first" doesn't exactly strike me as "getting your facts straight" either.
In closing, there were many ways you could have written your email that would have presented both you and your message better. As it stands, I find that I have no desire to act on any of the information you presented.
In the future, think about how your tone and grammar will affect the reception of your message.
-Darian
I can't find fault with what he said, save for perhaps "Kazugi". If I remember correctly his name was in Katakana and was most definately a "gi" and not a "ki". His grammar wasn't the best, but he did capitalize and punctuate. However, his attitude was absolutely atrocious. From the get go he let me know that his opinion of my work was complete contempt. This tone was carried by the rest of his email up to the last line, where it reached a climax of condescending character.
I wasn't entirely nice in my response either. Mine sports more of a polite, severe reprimand feel. I stand by my decision to not entirely curb my indignation in that being less forceful might have failed to get my point across. I'm skeptical any manner of response would have an affect, but I did my best regardless.
This is the only negative e-mail I've ever received concerning any work I've posted to the internet. I've received criticisms and suggestions before, but never anything that outright condemned my work. I'm surprised honestly, given the constant lamentations seen on official forums for video games I'd have expected a greater amount of ill-conceived and worded flames.
Maybe I'll get more if I actually get around to making my website.
MrPicassoHead
Artsy people might remember this website. It's been around a while, and years ago I made a couple nifty pictures with it. Today I crafted this during lunch break.
When I return home to my desktop where my other creations are, I'll share them too. For now, enjoy a work spawned by my pining for eastern shores.
20061031
Maths
During my lunch break and other moments of rest at work today, I attempted to reengage a sagging and otherwise zombie like mind with some math. Math that many of you will find rather boring as it pertains to video game systems. These were posted in response to other inquiring minds in a revelant topic at slashdot.
There are two major entries here. One on the profitability of Nintendo versus Sony Computer Entertainment, and another on market share in the new generation (set to really get underway in November with the launches of the Wii and the PlayStation 3).
Enjoy, or ignore.
----------
Going to the actual Nintendo website and looking up their profits through each report from 2001 to 2005 I give you Nintendo's profits.
2005: $816,973,000
2004: $316,134,000
2003: $640,640,000
2002: $800,338,000
2001: $726,339,000
This is pure profit. Sales were often in excess of 4 billion dollars. 2004 is lower in profit due to costs incurred in the development of the DS.
None of this is assumption, this is straight numbers taken from Nintendo's fiscal reports free availible at:
http://www.nintendo.com/corp/annual_report.jsp [nintendo.com]
Going to Sony Computer Entertainment Inc(SCEI)'s page, I could only immediately find the numbers for 2005 and 2004 in yen.
2005: 35.5 billion Yen ($302,333,504 by today's conversion rates)
2004: 57.1 billion Yen ($485,916,092 by today's conversion rates)
SCEI made more than Nintendo in 2004, but Nintendo did far, far better than SCEI in 2005.
There's a point to be made that some income and expenditure for both companies during this period would come from the GBA, DS and PSP. However, I think my original point remains that Nintendo remains competitive even with the low market share of the Gamecube. In fact, in that two year period Nintendo soundly beats SCEI.
Quite simply, Nintendo was more profitable than SCEI this past generation despite the incredible market share the PS2 had.
----------
Japanese Allotment: 80k
American Allotment: 400k
Population of Japan: 127.42 million
Previous Japanese Market Volume: 30.31 million (Dreamcast + Gamecube + PS2 in Japan)
Number of PS3s per person: 1 per 1593
Number of PS3s per gamer: 1 per 379
Potential Market Share at Launch: 0.26% (Allotment / Previous Volume)
Population of America: 300.00 million
Previous American Market Volume: 70.8 million (Xbox + Gamecube + PS2)
Number of PS3s per person: 1 per 750
Number of PS3s per gamer: 1 per 177
Potential Market Share at Launch: 0.56%
Combined Potential Market Share: 0.47% (480k) [5.66% relative Market Share]
Current 360 Market Share: 5.93% (6 million) [70.07% relative Market Share]
Potential Wii Launch Market Share: 1.98% (2 million) [23.59% relative Market Share]
Projected March 07 Market Share: 5.93% (6 million) [27.28% relative Market Share]
360 March 07 Market Share: 9.89% (10 million) [45.46% relative Market Share]
Wii March 07 Market Share: 5.93% (6 million) [27.28% relative Market Share]
Addendum:
I used the official company goals/projections. Unofficially Nintendo may have 6 million availible by January, and Sony may fall short of 6 million in March. It seemed unobjective to factor such things in.
6 million for Nintendo is not bad at all, seeing as how the Xbox 360 has been out for almost a year now and has only recently crossed the 6 million mark. The rate at which they produce new consoles in their projections is quite steady and reasonable.
What concerns me are the PS3 forecasts. If taken in two month segments, Sony is practically calling for their production to double or triple itself twice over (.5 + 1.5 + 4.5 ~ 6). Given their continuing supply problems, I'm not certain of how reasonable their 6 million March 07 projection is. If they can manage to succeed in that goal it will be a good thing for them, but I remain skeptical.
There are two major entries here. One on the profitability of Nintendo versus Sony Computer Entertainment, and another on market share in the new generation (set to really get underway in November with the launches of the Wii and the PlayStation 3).
Enjoy, or ignore.
----------
Going to the actual Nintendo website and looking up their profits through each report from 2001 to 2005 I give you Nintendo's profits.
2005: $816,973,000
2004: $316,134,000
2003: $640,640,000
2002: $800,338,000
2001: $726,339,000
This is pure profit. Sales were often in excess of 4 billion dollars. 2004 is lower in profit due to costs incurred in the development of the DS.
None of this is assumption, this is straight numbers taken from Nintendo's fiscal reports free availible at:
http://www.nintendo.com/corp/annual_report.jsp [nintendo.com]
Going to Sony Computer Entertainment Inc(SCEI)'s page, I could only immediately find the numbers for 2005 and 2004 in yen.
2005: 35.5 billion Yen ($302,333,504 by today's conversion rates)
2004: 57.1 billion Yen ($485,916,092 by today's conversion rates)
SCEI made more than Nintendo in 2004, but Nintendo did far, far better than SCEI in 2005.
There's a point to be made that some income and expenditure for both companies during this period would come from the GBA, DS and PSP. However, I think my original point remains that Nintendo remains competitive even with the low market share of the Gamecube. In fact, in that two year period Nintendo soundly beats SCEI.
Quite simply, Nintendo was more profitable than SCEI this past generation despite the incredible market share the PS2 had.
----------
Japanese Allotment: 80k
American Allotment: 400k
Population of Japan: 127.42 million
Previous Japanese Market Volume: 30.31 million (Dreamcast + Gamecube + PS2 in Japan)
Number of PS3s per person: 1 per 1593
Number of PS3s per gamer: 1 per 379
Potential Market Share at Launch: 0.26% (Allotment / Previous Volume)
Population of America: 300.00 million
Previous American Market Volume: 70.8 million (Xbox + Gamecube + PS2)
Number of PS3s per person: 1 per 750
Number of PS3s per gamer: 1 per 177
Potential Market Share at Launch: 0.56%
Combined Potential Market Share: 0.47% (480k) [5.66% relative Market Share]
Current 360 Market Share: 5.93% (6 million) [70.07% relative Market Share]
Potential Wii Launch Market Share: 1.98% (2 million) [23.59% relative Market Share]
Projected March 07 Market Share: 5.93% (6 million) [27.28% relative Market Share]
360 March 07 Market Share: 9.89% (10 million) [45.46% relative Market Share]
Wii March 07 Market Share: 5.93% (6 million) [27.28% relative Market Share]
Addendum:
I used the official company goals/projections. Unofficially Nintendo may have 6 million availible by January, and Sony may fall short of 6 million in March. It seemed unobjective to factor such things in.
6 million for Nintendo is not bad at all, seeing as how the Xbox 360 has been out for almost a year now and has only recently crossed the 6 million mark. The rate at which they produce new consoles in their projections is quite steady and reasonable.
What concerns me are the PS3 forecasts. If taken in two month segments, Sony is practically calling for their production to double or triple itself twice over (.5 + 1.5 + 4.5 ~ 6). Given their continuing supply problems, I'm not certain of how reasonable their 6 million March 07 projection is. If they can manage to succeed in that goal it will be a good thing for them, but I remain skeptical.
20061028
Contact
You may know of Earthbound. It was the super quirky and strange RPG for the SNES. Nintendo made a sequel to that for the Gameboy Advance in Japan which has yet to come here, one of the few things Nintendo has done to make me sad.
To advertise for the sequel, Nintendo did something rather odd. They made a game.
That game is Contact.
(Stolen shamelessly from the box)
Things you WON'T find in Contact:
A dull moment. Normalcy. A guy with spikey hair and/or amnesia. Dramatic monologues. The same battles you've been fighting since the 16-bit era.
Things you WILL find in Contact:
Monkeys. Cosmic terrorists. Powerful attack stickers. Fishing. Cooking. Humor. Fun with Nintendo Wi-Fi. Deeper meaning in life.* Costumes that increase your power and make you fun to be around.
*Results may vary.
Firstly, Monkeys people, Monkeys! The game has monkeys, that's a sale right there. Secondly, Osama can eat his heart out, we've got COSMIC terrorists. They wouldn't have flown jets into the twin towers, they would have flown UFOs into Nevada... wait. Thirdly, you can't argue when Dr. Andonuts himself peels the corner in order to say, "Psst! Buy the game- I need your help!"
I haven't played it yet, but given the universally good reviews ('Good' is the lowest rating I've seen for the game. 'Perfect', 'Superb' and 'Great' being far more common) I think it's safe to say I'm going to have a blast.
To advertise for the sequel, Nintendo did something rather odd. They made a game.
That game is Contact.
(Stolen shamelessly from the box)
Things you WON'T find in Contact:
A dull moment. Normalcy. A guy with spikey hair and/or amnesia. Dramatic monologues. The same battles you've been fighting since the 16-bit era.
Things you WILL find in Contact:
Monkeys. Cosmic terrorists. Powerful attack stickers. Fishing. Cooking. Humor. Fun with Nintendo Wi-Fi. Deeper meaning in life.* Costumes that increase your power and make you fun to be around.
*Results may vary.
Firstly, Monkeys people, Monkeys! The game has monkeys, that's a sale right there. Secondly, Osama can eat his heart out, we've got COSMIC terrorists. They wouldn't have flown jets into the twin towers, they would have flown UFOs into Nevada... wait. Thirdly, you can't argue when Dr. Andonuts himself peels the corner in order to say, "Psst! Buy the game- I need your help!"
I haven't played it yet, but given the universally good reviews ('Good' is the lowest rating I've seen for the game. 'Perfect', 'Superb' and 'Great' being far more common) I think it's safe to say I'm going to have a blast.
Eventification
Summary of recent events in 6 words apiece:
Raijin died, PSU explosion, sad motherboard.
Kevin sick tuesday, stayed home, misery.
Massive earwax, left ear deaf, hydrogen-peroxide.
Lost dictionary, japanese skills alones, nani?
Worked Saturday, all alone, powdered donuts.
Thank you, be here all week.
Raijin died, PSU explosion, sad motherboard.
Kevin sick tuesday, stayed home, misery.
Massive earwax, left ear deaf, hydrogen-peroxide.
Lost dictionary, japanese skills alones, nani?
Worked Saturday, all alone, powdered donuts.
Thank you, be here all week.
20061018
Massachusetts is Nuts
How do I miss thee? Let me count the ways...
I believe that this link [Link Broken] largely speaks for itself. That will not prevent me from speaking.
Quite simply I am not impressed with the dichotomy of telling kids they should go outside, do fun things with friends, and be social coupled with banning and deterring just about everything that is fun about outside. Swings? Someone could get hurt. Cops and Robbers? Someone might be offended. Education? Someone might start thinking.
Getting hurt is part of the human learning process. We don't learn to avoid the hot (and painful) portions of cookware by watching carefully reinacted, government sanctioned education videos depicting the unfortunate fate of someone "stupid" enough to grab an oven sheet with their bare hands. We learn by burning ourselves and dealing with the painful and inconvenient blisters.
If we aren't allowed to ever fall down, how can we learn brush off the pain, suck it up, and get done what needs doing? This isn't a slippery slope, this is a jump off a cliff.
I believe that this link [Link Broken] largely speaks for itself. That will not prevent me from speaking.
Quite simply I am not impressed with the dichotomy of telling kids they should go outside, do fun things with friends, and be social coupled with banning and deterring just about everything that is fun about outside. Swings? Someone could get hurt. Cops and Robbers? Someone might be offended. Education? Someone might start thinking.
Getting hurt is part of the human learning process. We don't learn to avoid the hot (and painful) portions of cookware by watching carefully reinacted, government sanctioned education videos depicting the unfortunate fate of someone "stupid" enough to grab an oven sheet with their bare hands. We learn by burning ourselves and dealing with the painful and inconvenient blisters.
If we aren't allowed to ever fall down, how can we learn brush off the pain, suck it up, and get done what needs doing? This isn't a slippery slope, this is a jump off a cliff.
20060918
Twink
I’m a min/max gamer. Anyone who ever watched me play Jump SuperStars, Armored Core 3, or any other game with tons of customization know that I work diligently to minimize my weaknesses and maximize my strengths. I do this obsessively, it’s a large draw for me to get the optimum setup. No tweak is too small, no change too minor. Any and everything within the game mechanics is accounted for and utilized.
I am not necessarily the best min/maxer for any given game, but between that and my level of skill I present to my opponents a worthy foe.
Another name for what I do is “twinking”, a term that harkens to Dungeons and Dragons. This term has become ubiquitous in MMORPGs for players who min/max, although other games lack the term (possibly due to a lack of connection to Dungeons and Dragons). Unfortunately, these same MMORPGs are giving twinking a bad name.
Before I delve into that, I’ll explain a key difference. In most games where twinking occurs you are balancing benefits of detriments. Doing X yields Y benefit at the cost of Z. Z may have an in-game monetary element, but generally that is negligible. The true cost of Z is in what you are excluded from doing. Z may prevent a different and desirable X with Y benefit you really want, or it might reduce the effectiveness of another Y, or any other number of undesirables. In these cases, twinking is getting the maximum total of Ys with the minimum effect of Zs. Additionally, an important factor is the individuals preferred playstyle. A player who likes to move fast and strike quickly will shape his customization differently than one who prefers a slower method of combat.
In MMOs Z tends to only (or almost only) encompass in-game monetary costs and time spent. As such, the effects of Y can become quite incredible because they do not have to be balanced against Z. Any other effects of Z are so small they are hardly noticeable. The bonuses of Y can become so overwhelming that playstyle becomes irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if you like slow or fast, durable or deadly, you can get every benefit at no cost. So long one has the most basic of skills, one can be a killing machine.
This second model appeals very greatly to a vast, immature group of players. These players most likely aren’t skilled, but through sheer time and currency can more than compensate for that. While the first model presents twinking as a skill in and of itself, the second presents it as a substitute for skill. The players themselves do not endear themselves to the populace, as they are quick to insult and berate anyone who even tries to have a discussion of the matter. They can be imperceptive to the point where they will cluelessly insult people on their side of debates simply because they are debating.
What is terribly interesting is the similarity in attitude they show to the attitude of cheaters. This interview with a cheater, while childish in it’s own way, is a prime example of the attitudes displayed by the majority of those who twink in the second model.
In the end, what bothers me about the second model is a lack of accomplishment. I don’t get the sense that I’ve accomplished anything worthwhile in being able to smash through people with ease by twinking in the second model, whereas in the first model there is a satisfaction in knowing that my skillful manipulations granted me advantage. For the first model, I’ve had people whose skill in actually playing one of these games was inferior to mine, but more than made up for it in superior twinking skills. Neither of these senses come across in the second model.
The final conclusion is that should I ever make a game with twinking, which is extremely likely, I’ll follow the first model quite vigilantly.
I am not necessarily the best min/maxer for any given game, but between that and my level of skill I present to my opponents a worthy foe.
Another name for what I do is “twinking”, a term that harkens to Dungeons and Dragons. This term has become ubiquitous in MMORPGs for players who min/max, although other games lack the term (possibly due to a lack of connection to Dungeons and Dragons). Unfortunately, these same MMORPGs are giving twinking a bad name.
Before I delve into that, I’ll explain a key difference. In most games where twinking occurs you are balancing benefits of detriments. Doing X yields Y benefit at the cost of Z. Z may have an in-game monetary element, but generally that is negligible. The true cost of Z is in what you are excluded from doing. Z may prevent a different and desirable X with Y benefit you really want, or it might reduce the effectiveness of another Y, or any other number of undesirables. In these cases, twinking is getting the maximum total of Ys with the minimum effect of Zs. Additionally, an important factor is the individuals preferred playstyle. A player who likes to move fast and strike quickly will shape his customization differently than one who prefers a slower method of combat.
In MMOs Z tends to only (or almost only) encompass in-game monetary costs and time spent. As such, the effects of Y can become quite incredible because they do not have to be balanced against Z. Any other effects of Z are so small they are hardly noticeable. The bonuses of Y can become so overwhelming that playstyle becomes irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if you like slow or fast, durable or deadly, you can get every benefit at no cost. So long one has the most basic of skills, one can be a killing machine.
This second model appeals very greatly to a vast, immature group of players. These players most likely aren’t skilled, but through sheer time and currency can more than compensate for that. While the first model presents twinking as a skill in and of itself, the second presents it as a substitute for skill. The players themselves do not endear themselves to the populace, as they are quick to insult and berate anyone who even tries to have a discussion of the matter. They can be imperceptive to the point where they will cluelessly insult people on their side of debates simply because they are debating.
What is terribly interesting is the similarity in attitude they show to the attitude of cheaters. This interview with a cheater, while childish in it’s own way, is a prime example of the attitudes displayed by the majority of those who twink in the second model.
In the end, what bothers me about the second model is a lack of accomplishment. I don’t get the sense that I’ve accomplished anything worthwhile in being able to smash through people with ease by twinking in the second model, whereas in the first model there is a satisfaction in knowing that my skillful manipulations granted me advantage. For the first model, I’ve had people whose skill in actually playing one of these games was inferior to mine, but more than made up for it in superior twinking skills. Neither of these senses come across in the second model.
The final conclusion is that should I ever make a game with twinking, which is extremely likely, I’ll follow the first model quite vigilantly.
20060917
Talk like a Pirate!
Talk like a Pirate day is the 19th, which is also incidentally the release date for Saumrai Warriors on the XBox 360 but I digress. In honor of the holiday, I present you the following educational video so that you won't be found a landlubber.
Arrrr!
Talk like a Pirate
Arrrr!
Talk like a Pirate
20060910
Texas = Big
This is my TV. It is a big TV. It was not a cheap TV.
This is really my splurge for the month, or would be if I didn't need to pick up a futon or sofa before my Dad comes to visit. However, Futon goes more under necessity rather than frivolous luxury, which a TV really is. Although one could even call a futon a luxury, but I think you understand.
It's a Sony, 46' 16:9 aspect ratio TV. Rear projection LCD. Capable of 720p and 1080i resolutions. More video hookups than I know what to do with. A very nice TV stand (some assembly required). Basically this should do me for about 20 years, barring it breaking down. I didn't want to skimp on something I was going to have for a long time. It's actually lighter than the 27' CRT I gave away, and doesn't bite into you when you try and grip it. The size does make it a little awkward to carry.
Anyway, my Playstation 2 which is capable of playing DVDs doesn't want to. It's decided that only games are good enough for it. So I'll have to pick up a DVD player eventually.
I'll also need to get some kind of cable soon, Uncle David is threatening to barge in for Monday night football. These Batchelders like to party.
20060821
State of the Warcraft address
This is, in effect, my wishlist for things I'd like to see done better in a future massively multiplayer online game, based on the problems I find in Worlf of Warcraft. Realize that these issues are not game crippling (at least not yet), but are things that reduce World of Warcraft from ZOMG PWN to very fun.
1) Massive?
Want: A single, continuous world on which ALL players (at least of a particular country/world region) play together.
There are at least 3 million US players of World of Warcraft, the other (almost) 4 million coming from China and Europe. However, the game isn't just split up by region or by language, but more fundamentally by servers. There are around 100 different servers which, depending on which one you decided upon, limits which other players you'll be with. Once you're on a server, you're stuck there unless you want to pay $25 to move elsewhere.
Being a computer guy, I can understand why this is necessary. Even if we were to assume that only 1 million of US players are on at peak hours, to have a single server/server cluster attempting to handle the massive amount of bandwith and processsing required would be rather enormous and cost prohibitive. It's a shame, but unless Blizzard was willing to pay 10x what they rake in through subscription fees they couldn't afford a single world, not to mention that the world isn't designed to handle that many people in it.
However, because of the current setup there's a problem I've noted. Eventually, servers get "full". When new players attempt to create their first character, a realm is automatically suggested for them. Invariably realms that are new or have low populations are suggested, and occaisionally medium ones. Once a server hits "high" population, players must specifically choose that realm by going against what was recommended. What this means is that there's a point where low level zones are practically deserted as everyone who actively plays on the server has reached max or near max level. This can happen, or show signs of it happening, as quickly as six months.
The reason this bothers me is that I have a large number of characters, spread out over many servers. Some of these characters are low levels on old, high population servers. This means that trying to find other players my level is often difficult. The problem is compounded by the fact that all new players are being directed away from the server, leaving the server to "stagnate".
Now, come the expansion people on all servers will be making new characters to take advantage of the new features/races etc. But that's a temporary solution to a more permanent problem. A problem that won't be fixed in World of Warcraft, but may be fixed in a sequel or competitor's offering.
2. 1337 5k33lz
Want: Pure skill based player versus player content.
I am not the most skilled video game player ever, but I am talented. It's something I egotistically pride myself on, and still enjoy taking an ego bruising now and again for. There are some things that do frustrate me.
You may remember a long time ago a post I made concerning a game called Gate 88, which, while interesting in concept, lent itself to give advantage to whomever won a confrontation. Not a small advantage, a freaking huge one that was completely unrecoverable from. This is not true of World of Warcraft, but there is an issue.
When fighting other players, their equipment is a very large factor. Having 1337 equipment that is hard to get grants a rather large, though not unsurmountable, obstacle to their foes. Evenly skilled players fighting will most often have a result of the player with better gear winning.
Now, were all gear equal and it more a matter of strategically choosing which gear to combine with what style of combat and then skillfully putting the theory into practice, I wouldn't care. If a player has devised a better combination of gear and combat style than my own, they deserve a win. Real life sports are won as a combination of preparation, strategy and skill, not just skill.
However, World of Warcraft sometimes runs into the "idiot with excaliber" scenario, wherein some moron has managed to get incredibly rediculous gear which is completely overpowering in comparison to everyone he's fighting. Without any strategy save "kill" and with the skill of a retarded monkey they plow through the field, successful only because of their equipment.
This is a scenario I have fought, lost to, over come, and everything in between. I like challenges, but I dislike ones where the challenge isn't a matter of skill but is instead a matter of things being unfairly weighted against you.
3. Dynamics
Want: A non static world.
The neatest thing about games like Worms, Scorched Earth and Vigilante 8 is that the world was always changing. When you dropped a bomb somewhere, you left a hole. Buildings crumbled, things blew up, and craters were created. The world was dynamic.
It would be nice if the same could be said of a game like World of Warcraft. I would like to see that my skillful efforts in battle would actually grant some advantage to my side. A days worth of crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women nets me nothing save the satisfaction of a job well done. Imagine at Troy, the armies have just errupted out of the horse, Troy lies open before them, the men unprepared and drunk, you are certain of victory. But instead of actually conquering anything you turn around and go home, knowing yours was a job well done. It sort of kills the buzz of conquest when nothing is conquered.
4. Customer service.
This is not to say that World of Warcraft's customer service is bad, but there is one area which I find lacking.
The essence of any community or relationship is communication. I can't claim to be perfect in this regard, but I grow everyday in the recognition that without communication there is hardly anything to call a community or a relationship. More and better communication = good.
Ther are two issues I have found with Blizzard's communication.
The first, and least important, is that it is slow. In game help can take a long time to arrive, and about 2/3rds of the time doesn't arrive while I'm still playing. If you know me, you know that I generally play my games in long stints as opposed to piecemeal. This is obviously an issue, but understandable to an extent because of the large number of players versus the feasible size of a support staff. However, improvement can still be had.
The second is more dire, and relates to the forums. Within those forums we find the people who care and know the most about the game. Very often, issues nestled deep in the players minds and thoughts are brought up. However, it is here that Blizzard's communication completely breaks down. The forum representatives, especially recently, are far more likely to respond to random zaniness in the general forum than they are to address legitimate concerns of the players in the entire breadth of the forums. I've maintained a close watch on the forums since before I left for Japan, and I can't say I'm impressed with what I've seen. In the past month, the number of "blue" posts in threads outside of the General Discussion is near zero. The ratio being 100:1 or more.
I'm not against Blizzard people from participating in the zaniness, but there's a real issue here. People want to be heard, even if the response is "No." When no response is made to issues that many forum people are concerned about, all we're left with is confusion. Is Blizzard working on this? Is this not an issue for them? Do they even care? Intentional or not, a failure to respond is equivalent in the minds of many as ignoring someone or some group. It's not good.
Now, there are all sorts of mitigating circumstances. The forumers don't know what kind of work goes into being a Blizzard representative. We do know they have all sorts of juicy tidbits about upcoming expansion details they can't tell us, and it's likely everything they say that isn't a silly quip or jest has to be carefully examined beforehand as to not let out any information being saved for a press release later. However, it would nice to let people know this kind of thing is going on. Give us a shout saying, "Because a great number of elements of the game are being changed in the expansion, many of which address current concerns and issues, we are not likely to be seen responding to requests made as it might reveal too soon exciting information before we're ready to give out all the details." Players would love that. As it is, in the middle of the Rogue Class review (a time for which communication is paramount) all Blizzard representatives simply vanished from the Rogue forum. I don't think I've seen a "blue" post in there since.
Quite simply, I've done the 9-5 monitor a forum thing. I was addicted to forums for a long time, and I know how long it takes to throw bones to people. Bureaucratic processes or not, there's no excuse for not making an excuse for disappearing altogether. There are plenty of excuses out there, good ones, for not addressing the issues people are bringing up. Give them please.
Thank you if you bothered to read all that. If you didn't, I don't know if you missed much.
1) Massive?
Want: A single, continuous world on which ALL players (at least of a particular country/world region) play together.
There are at least 3 million US players of World of Warcraft, the other (almost) 4 million coming from China and Europe. However, the game isn't just split up by region or by language, but more fundamentally by servers. There are around 100 different servers which, depending on which one you decided upon, limits which other players you'll be with. Once you're on a server, you're stuck there unless you want to pay $25 to move elsewhere.
Being a computer guy, I can understand why this is necessary. Even if we were to assume that only 1 million of US players are on at peak hours, to have a single server/server cluster attempting to handle the massive amount of bandwith and processsing required would be rather enormous and cost prohibitive. It's a shame, but unless Blizzard was willing to pay 10x what they rake in through subscription fees they couldn't afford a single world, not to mention that the world isn't designed to handle that many people in it.
However, because of the current setup there's a problem I've noted. Eventually, servers get "full". When new players attempt to create their first character, a realm is automatically suggested for them. Invariably realms that are new or have low populations are suggested, and occaisionally medium ones. Once a server hits "high" population, players must specifically choose that realm by going against what was recommended. What this means is that there's a point where low level zones are practically deserted as everyone who actively plays on the server has reached max or near max level. This can happen, or show signs of it happening, as quickly as six months.
The reason this bothers me is that I have a large number of characters, spread out over many servers. Some of these characters are low levels on old, high population servers. This means that trying to find other players my level is often difficult. The problem is compounded by the fact that all new players are being directed away from the server, leaving the server to "stagnate".
Now, come the expansion people on all servers will be making new characters to take advantage of the new features/races etc. But that's a temporary solution to a more permanent problem. A problem that won't be fixed in World of Warcraft, but may be fixed in a sequel or competitor's offering.
2. 1337 5k33lz
Want: Pure skill based player versus player content.
I am not the most skilled video game player ever, but I am talented. It's something I egotistically pride myself on, and still enjoy taking an ego bruising now and again for. There are some things that do frustrate me.
You may remember a long time ago a post I made concerning a game called Gate 88, which, while interesting in concept, lent itself to give advantage to whomever won a confrontation. Not a small advantage, a freaking huge one that was completely unrecoverable from. This is not true of World of Warcraft, but there is an issue.
When fighting other players, their equipment is a very large factor. Having 1337 equipment that is hard to get grants a rather large, though not unsurmountable, obstacle to their foes. Evenly skilled players fighting will most often have a result of the player with better gear winning.
Now, were all gear equal and it more a matter of strategically choosing which gear to combine with what style of combat and then skillfully putting the theory into practice, I wouldn't care. If a player has devised a better combination of gear and combat style than my own, they deserve a win. Real life sports are won as a combination of preparation, strategy and skill, not just skill.
However, World of Warcraft sometimes runs into the "idiot with excaliber" scenario, wherein some moron has managed to get incredibly rediculous gear which is completely overpowering in comparison to everyone he's fighting. Without any strategy save "kill" and with the skill of a retarded monkey they plow through the field, successful only because of their equipment.
This is a scenario I have fought, lost to, over come, and everything in between. I like challenges, but I dislike ones where the challenge isn't a matter of skill but is instead a matter of things being unfairly weighted against you.
3. Dynamics
Want: A non static world.
The neatest thing about games like Worms, Scorched Earth and Vigilante 8 is that the world was always changing. When you dropped a bomb somewhere, you left a hole. Buildings crumbled, things blew up, and craters were created. The world was dynamic.
It would be nice if the same could be said of a game like World of Warcraft. I would like to see that my skillful efforts in battle would actually grant some advantage to my side. A days worth of crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women nets me nothing save the satisfaction of a job well done. Imagine at Troy, the armies have just errupted out of the horse, Troy lies open before them, the men unprepared and drunk, you are certain of victory. But instead of actually conquering anything you turn around and go home, knowing yours was a job well done. It sort of kills the buzz of conquest when nothing is conquered.
4. Customer service.
This is not to say that World of Warcraft's customer service is bad, but there is one area which I find lacking.
The essence of any community or relationship is communication. I can't claim to be perfect in this regard, but I grow everyday in the recognition that without communication there is hardly anything to call a community or a relationship. More and better communication = good.
Ther are two issues I have found with Blizzard's communication.
The first, and least important, is that it is slow. In game help can take a long time to arrive, and about 2/3rds of the time doesn't arrive while I'm still playing. If you know me, you know that I generally play my games in long stints as opposed to piecemeal. This is obviously an issue, but understandable to an extent because of the large number of players versus the feasible size of a support staff. However, improvement can still be had.
The second is more dire, and relates to the forums. Within those forums we find the people who care and know the most about the game. Very often, issues nestled deep in the players minds and thoughts are brought up. However, it is here that Blizzard's communication completely breaks down. The forum representatives, especially recently, are far more likely to respond to random zaniness in the general forum than they are to address legitimate concerns of the players in the entire breadth of the forums. I've maintained a close watch on the forums since before I left for Japan, and I can't say I'm impressed with what I've seen. In the past month, the number of "blue" posts in threads outside of the General Discussion is near zero. The ratio being 100:1 or more.
I'm not against Blizzard people from participating in the zaniness, but there's a real issue here. People want to be heard, even if the response is "No." When no response is made to issues that many forum people are concerned about, all we're left with is confusion. Is Blizzard working on this? Is this not an issue for them? Do they even care? Intentional or not, a failure to respond is equivalent in the minds of many as ignoring someone or some group. It's not good.
Now, there are all sorts of mitigating circumstances. The forumers don't know what kind of work goes into being a Blizzard representative. We do know they have all sorts of juicy tidbits about upcoming expansion details they can't tell us, and it's likely everything they say that isn't a silly quip or jest has to be carefully examined beforehand as to not let out any information being saved for a press release later. However, it would nice to let people know this kind of thing is going on. Give us a shout saying, "Because a great number of elements of the game are being changed in the expansion, many of which address current concerns and issues, we are not likely to be seen responding to requests made as it might reveal too soon exciting information before we're ready to give out all the details." Players would love that. As it is, in the middle of the Rogue Class review (a time for which communication is paramount) all Blizzard representatives simply vanished from the Rogue forum. I don't think I've seen a "blue" post in there since.
Quite simply, I've done the 9-5 monitor a forum thing. I was addicted to forums for a long time, and I know how long it takes to throw bones to people. Bureaucratic processes or not, there's no excuse for not making an excuse for disappearing altogether. There are plenty of excuses out there, good ones, for not addressing the issues people are bringing up. Give them please.
Thank you if you bothered to read all that. If you didn't, I don't know if you missed much.
Ware da funae goe?
I realize the Franklin, Dr. Weis, and Mr. Smee have all been absent for a long, long time now. The truth of the matter is, they all decided that they wouldn't bother me while I was moving and took it upon themselves to move themselves down here on their own power and initiative as not to inconvenience me.
I suspect that each met with an unpredictable element which gave rise to predictable responses. I have no doubt that Dr. Weis is off researching something he uncovered en route, or may well be hiding in my walls researching me. Franklin is bound to have been mistaken for a terrorist leader, a grass roots politician, or both, and thinks he's giving an elocution on the benefits of proper nail file management to a charity banquet when he's actually supposed to be giving a declaration of rebellion by some random militia hidden near the appalachian trail. Mr. Smee either got lost, nodded off, or is on some grand adventure he will be completely unable to quantify upon arriving.
I can't honestly say you can expect to see any of them in the near future, but maybe once my apartment is neater and less explodey, maybe after I have a sweet TV entertainment center, maybe after they're no longer oblidged to give me homewarming or christmas presents, they'll finally arrive.
In the meantime, don't worry about them. They'll take care of themselves.
I suspect that each met with an unpredictable element which gave rise to predictable responses. I have no doubt that Dr. Weis is off researching something he uncovered en route, or may well be hiding in my walls researching me. Franklin is bound to have been mistaken for a terrorist leader, a grass roots politician, or both, and thinks he's giving an elocution on the benefits of proper nail file management to a charity banquet when he's actually supposed to be giving a declaration of rebellion by some random militia hidden near the appalachian trail. Mr. Smee either got lost, nodded off, or is on some grand adventure he will be completely unable to quantify upon arriving.
I can't honestly say you can expect to see any of them in the near future, but maybe once my apartment is neater and less explodey, maybe after I have a sweet TV entertainment center, maybe after they're no longer oblidged to give me homewarming or christmas presents, they'll finally arrive.
In the meantime, don't worry about them. They'll take care of themselves.
20060813
Connections
I have come to the conclusion there is nothing worth doing on this green earth if it can not be connected to someone else.
Example: If there was no one I knew personally to play video games with, or to later discuss them with, I wouldn't play them. There'd be no point. It wouldn't feel good to beat Legend of Zelda if there was no one to connect that with.
It isn't limited to diversions, this applies to everything. Work, driving, running, swimming, philosophy, theology, music, everything. If there is never a connection, someone that shares or understands whatever it is, there's a deep and consuming sense of futility that gnaws. A cavernous hunger that devours whatever it is and takes from it all semblence of joy and mirth.
I'm currently suffering from a lack of connections. It's probably largely due to the newness of being in Texas, but I'm rather isolated. I have relatives nearby, but they don't "connect" like my friends and siblings did. I love them all so, but they aren't and shouldn't be a replacement for friends and a significant other.
It really comes down to the fact that I'm currently remote and far away from everyone whom I "connect" with. My best friend's in Massachusetts, my brother will be in College in New York, my sister's in Maryland, and my best buddy in college who truly understood me better than anyone else present there (and as well as anyone else for that matter) is a civil servant in Pennsylvania. Even those who, despite not having a full and deep "connect", were important are far away. The isolation is a weight that is hard to bear.
Talking to God while commuting helps, as does this.
Example: If there was no one I knew personally to play video games with, or to later discuss them with, I wouldn't play them. There'd be no point. It wouldn't feel good to beat Legend of Zelda if there was no one to connect that with.
It isn't limited to diversions, this applies to everything. Work, driving, running, swimming, philosophy, theology, music, everything. If there is never a connection, someone that shares or understands whatever it is, there's a deep and consuming sense of futility that gnaws. A cavernous hunger that devours whatever it is and takes from it all semblence of joy and mirth.
I'm currently suffering from a lack of connections. It's probably largely due to the newness of being in Texas, but I'm rather isolated. I have relatives nearby, but they don't "connect" like my friends and siblings did. I love them all so, but they aren't and shouldn't be a replacement for friends and a significant other.
It really comes down to the fact that I'm currently remote and far away from everyone whom I "connect" with. My best friend's in Massachusetts, my brother will be in College in New York, my sister's in Maryland, and my best buddy in college who truly understood me better than anyone else present there (and as well as anyone else for that matter) is a civil servant in Pennsylvania. Even those who, despite not having a full and deep "connect", were important are far away. The isolation is a weight that is hard to bear.
Talking to God while commuting helps, as does this.
20060807
Post-Post Modernism
The more I've observed people my age and teenagerish, the more I've come to the conclusion that ways of thinking are changing. There's a general discontent with how the world is ordered, and it only grows with age.
Post Modernism will be with us for a while yet, but I doubt that it will remain long enough to bother people 50 years from now. By then, it will be defined as a minor bump on the road between the end of the Enlightenment and the beginning of controlled anarchy.
What irks the youth of today are the continuing mixed messages we get. There are two sets of schools of thought competing for our allegience. The first set is made of the much derided relativistic schools. The second set is filled by the empirical schools. Both bombard us with their dogma, and the number of "bites" they are getting is diminishing.
The movement that is ever so subtlely beginning is one that rejects both "there are no absolutes" and "everything is absolute". In many ways it's a "common sense" movement. It goes without saying that there are absolutes and there are grey areas. Ultimately what will preserve Post Modernism for a while is the entrenchment of empiricism in established institutes, but when it has served its purpose in destroying empricism's credibility it will fade.
Right now the movement's in a celluar state, just fertilized and beginning to develop. Exactly what it will look like at birth, adulthood, and seniority are beyond anyone's ability to predict. However, some trends are clear. Young adults are rejecting institutions for their inefficiency and insincerity, yet find that anarchy is inefficient as well. Some bridging of the two will occur, assuming the second coming doesn't happen first.
That's all I can write for now. There's a large thunderstorm and I think it may knock out power just long enough to erase what I've written.
Post Modernism will be with us for a while yet, but I doubt that it will remain long enough to bother people 50 years from now. By then, it will be defined as a minor bump on the road between the end of the Enlightenment and the beginning of controlled anarchy.
What irks the youth of today are the continuing mixed messages we get. There are two sets of schools of thought competing for our allegience. The first set is made of the much derided relativistic schools. The second set is filled by the empirical schools. Both bombard us with their dogma, and the number of "bites" they are getting is diminishing.
The movement that is ever so subtlely beginning is one that rejects both "there are no absolutes" and "everything is absolute". In many ways it's a "common sense" movement. It goes without saying that there are absolutes and there are grey areas. Ultimately what will preserve Post Modernism for a while is the entrenchment of empiricism in established institutes, but when it has served its purpose in destroying empricism's credibility it will fade.
Right now the movement's in a celluar state, just fertilized and beginning to develop. Exactly what it will look like at birth, adulthood, and seniority are beyond anyone's ability to predict. However, some trends are clear. Young adults are rejecting institutions for their inefficiency and insincerity, yet find that anarchy is inefficient as well. Some bridging of the two will occur, assuming the second coming doesn't happen first.
That's all I can write for now. There's a large thunderstorm and I think it may knock out power just long enough to erase what I've written.
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