Ice Cream

I received an email from a good friend today. You've probably gotten hundreds like it, but at least this one didn't promise eternal happiness if I forwarded it to 10 friends and damnation if I didn't.

Quote: (Edited only to reduce hideous spacing)

If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in Front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can Only pick one!) Trust me....this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what Psychiatrists think about you. After taking this Dessert personality test, send this e-mail on to Others, but when you do, be sure to put your choice of Dessert in the subject box above.

ALSO, SEND IT TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU.
DON' T FORGET TO CHANGE YOUR DESSERT CHOICE IN THE SUBJECT BOX BEFORE YOU FORWARD IT.

Here are your choices:

1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue
4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate on Chocolate
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake

No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, So think carefully what your choice will be..............

OK - Now that you've made your choice this is what the Research says about you...

SCROLL DOWN---No Cheating

That's part 1. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd take some brownie, some chocolate, and some angel food cake and combine with ice cream for desert euphoria. Unfortunately, I am only allowed to pick one. Alas, integers.

Having chosen ice cream, we proceed to find the following about me.

7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be Baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy Watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote Control. You tend to be self-centered and high Maintenance.

Statement 1: Moderately accurate by itself, but taken in context of statement two it is highly suspect.
Statement 2: Blatantly false. I don't watch sports, except for the odd World Cup, Olympics, or Red Sox World Series attempt. If I could, I would like to participate puts it lightly. I can't stand to sit back and watch. I'm either playing, or I'm not there. This puts statement one in a bad spot, as it's vague context looks good until this is brought up.
Statement 3: I'm more than happy to give up the remote control, or video game controller. You just have to ask me. Standing there looking pensive doesn't cut it. That's not to say I haven't pulled the old "give me a minute" hour long delay before, but that's more of a mistake than anything else. I don't think introverted and self-centered are the same thing, and I don't think I'm high maintenance.

Here's the rest of them, in all their glory.

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the Day. Others perceive you as being childlike and Immature at times.

2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, And are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of Dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your Saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense Of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker And a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum At the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you Have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded! in life; very Indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being Around you, but you are a practical joker. Others Should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are A friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. Can be very emotional.

6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE -- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, Ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a Cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid To take chances. Will not settle for anything average In life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be Baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy Watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote Control. You tend to be self-centered and high Maintenance.

8 . CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, Who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People Like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted Person and a little quirky at times. You have many Loyal friends.

SEND TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS....INCLUDING ME!

DON'T FORGET - PUT YOUR CHOICE OF DESSERT IN 'SUBJECT BOX' ABOVE BEFORE YOU FORWARD

1. Am I the only person who finds it odd that the Angel Food Cake person eats ice cream?
2. I would like all brownie eaters with a saber to raise their hands. I would like all dragon-slaying brownie eaters to raise their hands. Maybe it's metaphor, but it's vague metaphor. I could read into it that I get up and conquer great challenges, or I could read into it that I'm imaginative or something else.
3. All teachers who chose something other than Lemon Meringue, please burn your certifications and quit your jobs. You obviously aren't a good teacher, or you would have chosen this one.
4. I'm trying! to figure Out this grammer. Still, it is confusing.
5. Numbers 1-4, 6-8. You're all uncaring fiends. You weren't really crying when fluffy died. Heck, you possible poisoned the cat in the first place. Not to mention that all the other numbers that are "sexy" aren't romantic, so they aren't getting anywhere regardless.
6. Do not read the first sentence with your mind in the gutter.
7. Ice Cream!
8. Everyone else isn't fun to be with. That's right, some of you might be sexy, romantic, humorous, remote giving etc. but only people who eat Carrot Cake are fun to be around.

Maybe I'm a little harsh, but I think I derive some kind of joy in torturing these concepts. These are glorified fortune cookies, with the exception that sometimes people take them seriously (Read: Horoscopes).

One of these days, I'm going to put an ad in a newspaper begging some random name not to go to work because I had a horrible vision where they were in a car crash and lost two limbs, came home to find their spouse murdered because they forgot to lock the door, and their winning lottery ticket is accidentally burned during the cremation. Maybe nothing quite so blatantly stupid as that, but something similar.

If I ever do that, I'll let you all know how many calls I get.