Today's Fortune: Moved

Today's fortune cookie reads: "Others are deeply moved by your presence."

I give this one the award for least amount of effort, not because no effort went into crafting this fortune but because I can apparently, without effort, touch the very souls of others simply by standing around in their general vicinity.

Today's Fortune: Misunderstanding

Today's fortune cookie reads: "Avoid misunderstanding by keeping your ears open."

It's trying to be profound, but it ends up just coming across like a commercial for earwax removal.