Research of Dr. Weis: Proper Care for Pants

Greetings from Dr. Weis!

Recent research has been most interesting. As part of better lab safety procedures following lawsuit of Dr. Weis for chemical burns, Dr. Weis spend long time researching safer lab attire.

Before Dr. Weis could research pants, Dr. Weis researched desirable characteristic of pants. Like glowing 8-Ball of fortune, Dr. Weis read many fashion magazines and lab manuals. Dr. Weis discover the following.

1. Pants must be as uncomfortable as possible. All most fashionable and all most lab safe attire has no comfort whatsoever.

2. Pants must be as comfortable as possible. No worker can function properly if pants chafe and scratch.

3. Every worker must choose own pants. Individual choice is paramount for happy worker and happy workplace.

4. Every worker should wear same pants type. Bad for morale if one worker have better, more expensive pants than rest.

5. Flaming pants not suitable for wearing.

Like snow globe in burning furnace, Dr. Weis conclude more research necessary.