Franklin: Be my guest

Hai guys, Franklin here with another monologue on the many misadventures I have in the mainstream.

I've been traveling around looking for a university suitable to my needs. I intend on studying the fine art of public speech. I tell you the truth, my abilities of oration will be such that none shall surpass my charisma and annuciation.

As a part of my travels, I needed to find lodgings for myself. This of course meant that I would be someone else's guest. Unfortunately, around other people I tend to be very shy. For my venture to succeed, I was going to need a plan.

Unfortunately for me, I sometimes have trouble coming up with a plan when under pressure. The blueprint for success I crafted was satisfactory to my disturbed mind, but in hindsight could have been better.

Instead of being someone else's guest, I invited random people from the phonebook to come to my place! I made sure everything was pristine for when whoever decided to come arrived.

Unfortunately, I was so thorough in my cleaning that I had used rubbing alcohol on many of the kitchen surfaces to make sure it was clean as could conceivably be. Turning the stove on at this point proved to be disasterous.

In a way, my plan succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I now have no choice but to find for myself a room to let, or live on the streets. How pitiable a sight I must be, clutching my lucky toaster while waiting for a taxi.

Alas.