Last night it finally struck me like the smell of a skunk as it passes by your open, ground floor window. My time in Japan is not endless. I will not be visiting the library for periodic contact with my family backhome, studying Japanese most of the week, beating people with a large, bamboo stick (and vice versa), playing Monopoly with my host parents, or being ribbed by Jason. I will be in America in four days.
I literally cried.
I don't know if the Taiko drums I got to play earlier that day contributed, or if the cleaning up my room in preparation for the laundry and packing I'll be doing these next few days was either. What I know is a combination of events culminating in walking home alone singing hymns to myself after a day of test acing, Japanese activity participating, host family talking, Kendo club dining, karaoke singing and picture booth taking, resulted in a minor breakdown before bed.
I didn't do a whole lot with my fellow ryuugakusei. Sure, I had classes with them, and I didn't shun them. But while they were out doing things together, I was with my host family and the Kendo club. I was in Japan to be with the Japanese, and I lived accordingly.
Now, I've become extremely attached to various Japanese people, more than I ever realized. The kindness and care they showed the bumbling, nerdy gaijin who stumbled into their world with a excited but wide eyes was greater than I had ever imagined possible. When the fact that I would indeed be leaving sank into my psyche, it was like being shot. My senses simply numbed, and not because of the fifteen degree temperatures.
It really sank in when, after the long list of events featured earlier, one Kendo Club member wrote on the photo booth photos we took "Don't forget us" before they were given to me. Suddenly, just how important these people were to me, and likewise me to them, became dead apparent. It had been there the whole time, growing, and it burst into blossom right then. The sorrowful beauty of something at it's utmost peak, a flower who can only look forward to its end.
Flowers never bloom alone. Just as it was revealed to me how important the Kendo Club was, a catalytic chain of revelation ensued, as one person after another popped into my mind. I probably could have been set on fire and not noticed.
I have chained myself to Japan. These chains will not break, and they will forever be pulling me back here. Even as I am on the other side of the world, the chains will bite into me soul and remind me, "Your friends wait for you in Japan."
I have joked many times I've doomed myself to be eternally homesick, but the magnitude of my curse was never before apparent to me. I was blissfully ignorant of how much I would miss everyone, despite how much I missed my family at home. No matter where I go, my heart will long to rest in both places at once.
How I wish that God would grant me some small part of his power, that he can be in two places at once. If only I too, if only.
Showing posts with label Kendo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kendo. Show all posts
20051213
20051209
Banzai!
Last night I won my first Kendo match! Booyaka!
Here are the details.
The Kendo club was split into two teams. Whichever team won the most matches would win overall. I was selected to lead the way by going first. Things looked grim because my opponent, Ichiro, was one of the better Kendo players.
I very successfully deflected his attacks (much to my surprise as much as everyone elses'), and strategized a devious strategy. I would keep repeating the same two attacks over and over, lulling him into a false sense of security regarding the other attacks I knew. Then, I would strike at an opportune moment and surprise him.
It worked! I continually attacked "men" (the head) and "kotei" (the hands) while avoiding "do" (the body). When I saw his guard relaxed, I struck with do and scored! I was ecstatic.
Booyaka.
One week from now at this time, I will be flying home. It's amazing how fast it all went by. It feels like just yesterday I was a bewildered foreigner stammering out single japanese words in poor attempts to communicate. Now, I'm a bewildered foreigner stammering out three or more words in poor attempts to communicate.
I don't want to leave, but I'm looking forward to being home.
Here are the details.
The Kendo club was split into two teams. Whichever team won the most matches would win overall. I was selected to lead the way by going first. Things looked grim because my opponent, Ichiro, was one of the better Kendo players.
I very successfully deflected his attacks (much to my surprise as much as everyone elses'), and strategized a devious strategy. I would keep repeating the same two attacks over and over, lulling him into a false sense of security regarding the other attacks I knew. Then, I would strike at an opportune moment and surprise him.
It worked! I continually attacked "men" (the head) and "kotei" (the hands) while avoiding "do" (the body). When I saw his guard relaxed, I struck with do and scored! I was ecstatic.
Booyaka.
One week from now at this time, I will be flying home. It's amazing how fast it all went by. It feels like just yesterday I was a bewildered foreigner stammering out single japanese words in poor attempts to communicate. Now, I'm a bewildered foreigner stammering out three or more words in poor attempts to communicate.
I don't want to leave, but I'm looking forward to being home.
20051121
Shumatsu
Shumatsu is Japanese for weekend.
This weekend several things happened. I tried calligraphy, I got to wear armor in Kendo for the first time, and I went sightseeing with my host family. Some of that you may already been aware of, but today I have some pretty pictures! Only two, as A) I want to give my family a long slide show of my experiences in Japan (an endless stream here would defeat the purpose) and B) with a limit of two per post I avoid clogging my posts and page with far too many images.
That said...
Shodo, the Japanese art of calligraphy. In a two hour lesson, I showed the "good sense" that I am often attributed when I try activities that are very Japanese. I did very well, having never had a lesson before. This is the only picture I have of my experience, as I was too busy practicing and paying attention to bug anyone for photographs more than once. However, I have a wealth of calligraphy I did to show off, which I think makes up for it.
The picture's slightly blurry, and I have others, but I'm lazy so...
It may be difficult to tell, but that is me. I got to wear Kendo armor for the first time on Saturday, and will be able to for these last four weeks of time I have in Japan. Having started Kendo at the very end of September, I have apparently made stunning progress. I had my first Kendo match, which I lost, but only one of two points were scored on me (we ended by exceeding the time limit). My opponent was surprised to learn how short a time I had been learning Kendo. I was thankful for the praise, as I couldn't hit him. He had the inherent advantage of knowing how to block.
As these four weeks begin, I have a sense of sadness and relief at the same time. I love my life here very much, it has nothing short of devastated what I now see as low expectations of how great this trip would be. However, at the same time I miss home a heck of a lot. I am a homebody to the core, and as such the people, places and things of home have been continually growing in my mind. The sense of relief is extremely slight, being more of an expectation of when I return than anything else.
Until then, I will continue my studies.
This weekend several things happened. I tried calligraphy, I got to wear armor in Kendo for the first time, and I went sightseeing with my host family. Some of that you may already been aware of, but today I have some pretty pictures! Only two, as A) I want to give my family a long slide show of my experiences in Japan (an endless stream here would defeat the purpose) and B) with a limit of two per post I avoid clogging my posts and page with far too many images.
That said...
Shodo, the Japanese art of calligraphy. In a two hour lesson, I showed the "good sense" that I am often attributed when I try activities that are very Japanese. I did very well, having never had a lesson before. This is the only picture I have of my experience, as I was too busy practicing and paying attention to bug anyone for photographs more than once. However, I have a wealth of calligraphy I did to show off, which I think makes up for it.
The picture's slightly blurry, and I have others, but I'm lazy so...
It may be difficult to tell, but that is me. I got to wear Kendo armor for the first time on Saturday, and will be able to for these last four weeks of time I have in Japan. Having started Kendo at the very end of September, I have apparently made stunning progress. I had my first Kendo match, which I lost, but only one of two points were scored on me (we ended by exceeding the time limit). My opponent was surprised to learn how short a time I had been learning Kendo. I was thankful for the praise, as I couldn't hit him. He had the inherent advantage of knowing how to block.
As these four weeks begin, I have a sense of sadness and relief at the same time. I love my life here very much, it has nothing short of devastated what I now see as low expectations of how great this trip would be. However, at the same time I miss home a heck of a lot. I am a homebody to the core, and as such the people, places and things of home have been continually growing in my mind. The sense of relief is extremely slight, being more of an expectation of when I return than anything else.
Until then, I will continue my studies.
20051118
Shodo
"Shodo" is Japanese for caligraphy, or the artistic drawing of Kanji characters. It is one of the many arts of the Samurai in Japan, and purportedly helps concentration and swordsmanship.
In continuation of my Samurai training, I spent some time yesterday learning Shodo. It was an immensely enjoyable experience, if slightly frustrating at times. My brush rarely acted in the way I wished it to, spoiling some of the work I did at inopportune moments. However, overall I did extremely well considering that I have no real experience with the art (although I appear talented in everything Samurai).
Some of the other foreign students participating have actually taken lessons. I'll admit I felt some small amount of pleasure in the fact that I did as well if not better than them. However, everyone was good overall, and I did not seek any compliments on my work (although I recieved many). The professor was especially impressed with the Kanji "Kebin" name my host father gave me.
The name "Kebin" is two kanji, Ki and Bin combined (Ki becomes Ke). They mean "Spirit" or "Heart" and "Quickly" or "With All/Great Speed". Exactly what the combination means is up in the air. It might mean I can build my spirit with incredible speed (ala Dragon Ball Z power ups! KYAAAA), quickly and with ease display great amounts of spirit, or simply mean that I am both spirited and quick. In any case, all the Japanese who see it declare it to be an incredibly good name.
Those comments have actually spawned some envy in students who have not been given Kanji names from their hosts. However, I think something is lost when you ask your hosts for one. The greatest things I have recieved from my host family have been unasked for, such as my name, my Shogi set, and my kendo practice sword (not to mention a lot of Love). If I asked for them, the magic I now associate with them would be very different.
But, back to Shodo.
If you are a perfectionist, Shodo is not calming at all. Nothing looks anything like you want it to, and when the professor creates beautiful work with ease it only compounds the problem. Trust me on this, there were a lot of frustrated perfectionists in the classroom yesterday.
If you are patient, and willing to settle with imperfection, Shodo can be an incredible experience well worth trying. There is something calming about the way the brush moves and the strokes are made when you become less focused on whether it is perfect or not and more focused on the simple act of the art. Like other Japanese arts, there is a strange feeling I find whenever I try them. It is the appreciation of simple elegance, I think, the understanding that in something as simple as a letter there can be art and beauty that makes Kendo, Shodo and most things Japanese so wonderful.
And also what makes the iPod popular here (expensive though it may be).
I'll be bringing home the work I did (all of it, good and bad), so look forward to (or dread if you like) my showing it off.
Later I shall see if, as Japanese lore says, the caligraphy will help me with my swordsmanship!
Kendo away!
In continuation of my Samurai training, I spent some time yesterday learning Shodo. It was an immensely enjoyable experience, if slightly frustrating at times. My brush rarely acted in the way I wished it to, spoiling some of the work I did at inopportune moments. However, overall I did extremely well considering that I have no real experience with the art (although I appear talented in everything Samurai).
Some of the other foreign students participating have actually taken lessons. I'll admit I felt some small amount of pleasure in the fact that I did as well if not better than them. However, everyone was good overall, and I did not seek any compliments on my work (although I recieved many). The professor was especially impressed with the Kanji "Kebin" name my host father gave me.
The name "Kebin" is two kanji, Ki and Bin combined (Ki becomes Ke). They mean "Spirit" or "Heart" and "Quickly" or "With All/Great Speed". Exactly what the combination means is up in the air. It might mean I can build my spirit with incredible speed (ala Dragon Ball Z power ups! KYAAAA), quickly and with ease display great amounts of spirit, or simply mean that I am both spirited and quick. In any case, all the Japanese who see it declare it to be an incredibly good name.
Those comments have actually spawned some envy in students who have not been given Kanji names from their hosts. However, I think something is lost when you ask your hosts for one. The greatest things I have recieved from my host family have been unasked for, such as my name, my Shogi set, and my kendo practice sword (not to mention a lot of Love). If I asked for them, the magic I now associate with them would be very different.
But, back to Shodo.
If you are a perfectionist, Shodo is not calming at all. Nothing looks anything like you want it to, and when the professor creates beautiful work with ease it only compounds the problem. Trust me on this, there were a lot of frustrated perfectionists in the classroom yesterday.
If you are patient, and willing to settle with imperfection, Shodo can be an incredible experience well worth trying. There is something calming about the way the brush moves and the strokes are made when you become less focused on whether it is perfect or not and more focused on the simple act of the art. Like other Japanese arts, there is a strange feeling I find whenever I try them. It is the appreciation of simple elegance, I think, the understanding that in something as simple as a letter there can be art and beauty that makes Kendo, Shodo and most things Japanese so wonderful.
And also what makes the iPod popular here (expensive though it may be).
I'll be bringing home the work I did (all of it, good and bad), so look forward to (or dread if you like) my showing it off.
Later I shall see if, as Japanese lore says, the caligraphy will help me with my swordsmanship!
Kendo away!
20051104
Four Day Weekends Ahoy!
Various news to report.
Firstly, I just registered for my last semester of college's classes, and submitted my "I'm graduating" form. My class schedule, quite simply, rocks the world.
J-Term: UNIX Administration Every Morning.
Spring Term:
Monday: Self Defense 7PM-9PM
Tuesday: Seminar, Islam and Sociology.
Wednesday: Nothing.
Thursday: Seminar, Islam and Sociology.
Friday: Nothing.
Basically, aside from learning how to defend myself from random attackers, I have a four day weekend every weekend, with an additional resting day in the middle of the week! ROCK THAT!
Also, with only a total of 13 credits, and only 10 of which will be in the larger Spring Term, I should have lots of free time...
...which will likely get eaten up trying to find a job, and working on my Senior Project. However, with five days a week free, I can easily allocate two to actual schoolwork, and three to Project/job.
Fun, eh?
Other news of interest is tomorrow I'm having a party with some Kendo club members after practice. There's going to be great food (apparently my Okaasan is going all out, which is scary considering how delicious her barely trying food is), great people and Monopoly of course.
Speaking of which, I recently retook my crown from my Otousan, who forgot that perhaps not being under the influence had helped his victory before and drank a lot before the game.
All in all, tis a happy time.
Firstly, I just registered for my last semester of college's classes, and submitted my "I'm graduating" form. My class schedule, quite simply, rocks the world.
J-Term: UNIX Administration Every Morning.
Spring Term:
Monday: Self Defense 7PM-9PM
Tuesday: Seminar, Islam and Sociology.
Wednesday: Nothing.
Thursday: Seminar, Islam and Sociology.
Friday: Nothing.
Basically, aside from learning how to defend myself from random attackers, I have a four day weekend every weekend, with an additional resting day in the middle of the week! ROCK THAT!
Also, with only a total of 13 credits, and only 10 of which will be in the larger Spring Term, I should have lots of free time...
...which will likely get eaten up trying to find a job, and working on my Senior Project. However, with five days a week free, I can easily allocate two to actual schoolwork, and three to Project/job.
Fun, eh?
Other news of interest is tomorrow I'm having a party with some Kendo club members after practice. There's going to be great food (apparently my Okaasan is going all out, which is scary considering how delicious her barely trying food is), great people and Monopoly of course.
Speaking of which, I recently retook my crown from my Otousan, who forgot that perhaps not being under the influence had helped his victory before and drank a lot before the game.
All in all, tis a happy time.
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