Koei Hates Me

It's effectively official at this point. All that's left is for Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 to come out for the final nail in the coffin.

For those of you who have not followed this saga, Koei addicted me to Dynasty Warriors with Dynasty Warriors 3. It was a lot of fun, though obviously had room for improvement, and I played it a lot in college. Good times.

There was one feature I particularly appreciated, specifically the ability to choose the original Japanese voice actors. It was a very welcome reprieve from the amazingly horrible performances by their English-speaking counterparts. In fact, this feature made all the difference for me. Playing with the ear grating English voice acting was at best a distraction, and at worst impossible to deal with. Call me a snob, but giving an ancient mystic the voice of a surfer dude is only a good idea when you're attempting parody.

I skipped the fourth installment in the series as I was still enjoying the third, didn't have much money, and heard the fourth sucked anyway. I waited with anticipation for the fifth, but was grieved to hear it would not feature the original Japanese voice actors.

Reluctant to purchase the game when I knew my ears would forever curse me, I eventually gave in and bought it for the PS2. The very next day it was announced that an Xbox version was in the works, complete with an option for the Japanese language tracks.

Cursing my luck, I turned to Samurai Warriors, also by Koei. This game had the original language track available and so I thought my troubles were over. It turned out that the game punished you for improving your character. If you recall the review I posted in this blog, I didn't view this odd mechanic favorably.

Fast forward a few years and I purchase my first console of the new generation, the Xbox 360. One of its features was limited backwards compatibility with Xbox games. Irony itself must have compiled that list, as the only Dynasty Warriors game present was the fourth installment, the only installment to lack an original language track on the Xbox.

Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued with the releases of Samurai Warriors 2, Warriors Orochi, and Dynasty Warriors 6. All of these games looked promising, and all of them lacked the original language track. From the trailers and videos I watched, the voice acting remained as terrible as always. Dynasty Warriors 6 was notable for reducing the number of buttons to mash from two to one. I decided to simulate playing it by smashing my head against my desk.

At this point I had all but assumed that Koei was no longer interested in providing the original voice track. Despite the HD-DVD versus Blu-ray content war, they were content to avoid meaningless extras. I comforted myself with this thought and sought to move on.

Then they released Dynasty Warriors: Gundam. I had no interest in this game, and the demo didn't really impress me all too much. However, the game has its original language track intact and available.

Koei was toying with me.

I have spent considerable time on the internet attempting to find an answer to the question "Does Warriors Orochi 2 have an option for the original language track?" I was unable to do so for some time, so I added the game to my GameFly rental queue and waited patiently. My patience wore thin when after three returns they had still bypassed the game at the top of my queue for something in the middle.

In my frustration I searched one last time, and found an announcement for a PSP version of the game. The announcement made it clear that A) the 360 version has no original language track and B) Koei has been plotting to make me miserable all this time.

You see, the abominable PSP version is going to have the original language track. Not the 360 version with all its disc space, not any predecessors. No, the PSP version is the one they decide to bless with this feature.

Koei officially hates me. When Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 comes out and also sports this feature Koei's hate will be upgraded to pure malicious spite. I have no other explanation for my situation.

History Repeating

Demigod is a new PC game in the style of Defense of the Ancients, much like how the famous Tower Defense games are moving beyond their minority status.

I've read a few reviews, all glowing, none of which were able to categorize the genre with any particular ease. "RTS-RPG" was thrown around a fair amount, and I suppose that's fairly accurate. The old genres of gaming are now so interbred that any notion of purity has been long since lost, so it makes sense to label them accordingly.

But the RTS-RPG is not new, however much the reviews may imply it. Demigod is not the first video game outside of the customized maps of Starcraft and Warcraft to explore the genre. Dynasty Warriors has been doing it for years.

Alright, so Dynasty Warriors is more like an Action-RTS mutt, but really the differences are smaller than you think. In fact, the core difference effectively boils down to how you control your avatar. Do you A) Mash buttons to attack and use special abilities or B) Select targets, auto attack, and hit the odd key for a special? To auto-attack, or not to auto-attack, that is the question.

We could drive down into the minutiae of it, but in the end DotA is Dynasty Warriors with fewer buttons to mash and a different camera angle. This isn't a bad thing, it's just the truth of the RTS-RPG genre.

Incidentally, I plan on trying Demigod. Maybe now that Koei and Tecmo have merged a better Dynasty Warriors may result, but in the meantime I need my massive army slaughtering fix. If all the reviewers are as horribly addicted as they claim, Demigod might just be it.

Koei Hates Me

Via the IGN review of Dynasty Warriors 6 it is confirmed that, once again, Koei has left the Japanese Voice Actors off the American release of the game.

Let's review the timeline.

Chapter 1: I arrive at college, and see someone playing Dynasty Warriors 3 for the first time. I laugh at the horrible English voice actors, but get blown away by the inclusion of Japanese vocals. Addiction++.
Chapter 2: Dynasty Warriors 4 comes out, no Japanese voice actors. Bitter tears are wept, and the game goes unpurchased.
Chapter 3: In desperation, I buy Samurai Warriors for its Japanese voice actors. Sadly, the game has a "level up" system which punishes you for being strong. Gee, thanks. The game is sold back to Babbage's.
Chapter 4: After months of suspense as to whether Dynasty Warriors 5 will have the Japanese voice actors or not, the ill news arrives. Depressed but in dire need of a new "fix", I eventually cave in and buy the PS2 version. The next day it's announced that the Xbox version will have Japanese voice actors. D'OH.
Chapter 5: The Xbox 360 announces backwards compatibility! Great news, except the only Dynasty Warriors game on the list is #4. This is true even today, after numerous updates.
Chapter 6: Samurai Warriors 2 is released, sans Japanese voice actors. Hope fades.
Chapter 7: Dynasty Warriors: Gundam surprises me with Japanese voice actors. Perhaps the soon to be released Dynasty Warriors 6 will break the growing cycle of pain?
Chapter 8: Today, it sucks to be me.

I effectively give up. The arguments have been made time and time again for why Japanese voice actors are a perfectly simple option to make available. I'm through waiting on Koei to make a game that A) doesn't suck and B) has the Japanese voice actors.

Sadly, the options for "kill legions of enemies in a mindless fashion" are slim to none. Maybe it's because Koei crowds out all the competitors, or maybe it's because the competitors are all like N3.

Alas.